The Unofficial Guide to Wowing Your Business Clients with your Savvy Wine Skills 

Some of the best business relationships have flourished over a great bottle of wine. As William Shakespeare boldly declared, “Good company, good wine, and good welcome can all make good people.”

I first experienced Shakespeare’s observation during a sequined-dress-wearing, post-shoot dinner in the cavernous grand dining hall of Carnival’s Ecstasy cruise liner. Wedged between the gaffer and the makeup artist in an “intimate” booth that seated twelve, I watched in awe as my client (we’ll call her Joy) commandeered the wine list like a master.

That’s when I discovered the power of wine. The problem is that, unlike Joy, I never caught onto the mastery part. Despite attending myriad wine tastings and events, and taking copious notes about aromatics, acidity, reserves, tasting notes, body and tannins, I barely retained a thing (must have been all the wine!).

Finally, in spite of my over-achieving, detail-oriented ambitions, I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t need a PhD in oenology to conquer a wine list with confidence. On the contrary, with the help of a few sure-fire tricks, I can fake it so well that I’m actually no longer faking it.

Here are my 5 step-by-step instructions to hacking the wine list:

1. Grab the Wine List with Gusto (I’m the Host, Right?), and Check in with My Guests
Here’s how this scenario can work when I am with a bunch of friends/associates.  First, ask about preferences: Who wants to start with a cocktail? Go for it! Or maybe up for wine? Which do you like — red or white?  If they like a certain type of wine, I let them volunteer it (but never invite it).

Then there might be the case when maybe someone fancies him or herself an expert. In that instance, I hand over the wine list for a “collaboration,” but always hint at a price range—“I was thinking something like this one.” (When the wine arrives, I defer the tasting to them). Boom.  A team effort!

2. Support the Great U.S. of A.
Sure, I love a good vintage of European provenance — when I’m touring the Lombardi region of Northern Italy. But when the thirsty barbarians are at the gate, who can keep all those categories and classifications straight? Besides, America is the fourth largest wine-producing country in the world, behind France, Italy and Spain, with wineries in all fifty states. Experts say that the U.S. wine industry is still recovering from Prohibition. So why not be a patriot?

3. Pick a Few Guaranteed States and Regions, and Forget the Rest.
I always go with California — where 90% of all U.S. wine is produced — or in a pinch, Oregon. You simply can’t go wrong with Napa Valley, Sonoma or Pasa Robles in California, or with Willamette Valley in Oregon. And unless you’re training to be a sommelier, don’t worry about the year or the brand name (but it’s always a bonus if you recognize a wine you’ve enjoyed before).

4. Go with Grapes that are Proven, Widely Known, and Broadly Delicious
Perhaps you too have that friend who waxes poetic about “viticulture” (read: grape cultivation), and her internship at the European Wine Academy. But when she’s not with you to dispense wisdom, trust the numbers: the most popular varietals purchased in the U.S. are Chardonnay, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot. Pinot Noir and Sauvignon Blanc are gaining in popularity, especially amongst millennials, so for the sake of modernity, I’ve added those, and dropped Merlot from my list (sorry, Merlot!).

Also, since I will almost always start with one bottle of each color, I make a choice on which type I’m in the mood for (unless of course I’m partnering with a wine-savvy client). Occasionally, I’ll tweak my approach based on the type of food we’re eating (the rule of thumb of course is white with fish, and red with meat), but these days every menu offers a wide range, and the most important “rule” is to drink what you like.

5. Don’t Blow the Budget
I work in advertising and am always on a budget. But I make a point to never order the cheapest bottle on the wine list – but I’ll go one or two up from there, and be fine with it. Price doesn’t always equal quality, nor can the average wine-drinker discern the difference, even when it does. Trust that it’s going to be okay if the restaurant put it on the wine list. And if it’s not, send it back. Your tastebuds will know if it’s a dud, and your guests will admire your gumption. Worse, if you don’t send it back, you’ll all politely choke it down and you may never get over it (sorry, Rick…).

Wine Hacks for Smart Women  

Simple ways to remember the differences in varietals (a.k.a. types of grapes), in layman’s terms:

Whites:
Chardonnay: Toasty, buttery, heavier, and creamier
Sauvignon Blanc: Fruitier, crisper, tangy, and drier

Reds:
Cabernet Sauvignon: Dark berries; is heavier, smoother, and richer
Pinot Noir: Lighter, more cherry flavor, peppery, and earthier

Next, if you find yourself stuck in a restaurant that doesn’t carry U.S. wine (it may happen…), just follow these clues:

White: Go with France

• Sancerre is a “grapefruitier” version of Sauvignon Blanc
• French Chardonnay will be crisper and less toasty than the California version

Red:

• Spain: Tempranillo is a popular grape that hails from Spain. It can be similar to a Cabernet, but is smoother and fruitier. La Rioja is the most famous region for Tempranillo. The taste? Similar to a Cabernet Sauvignon, but blended with the fruitiness of a Pinot Noir.
• Italy: Go with a Montepulciano (grape) from the region of Abruzzo. People like that it’s soft, dark and rich (hmmm), and the price is right.
• Argentina: Malbec (grape) from the Mendoza region is very popular with Americans. Compared to a cabernet, it’s less heavy with a sharper, spicier taste.

Most of all, remember that the wine should never be the end itself, but rather a means of having more fun getting there. A wise but anonymous author perfectly summed up the intersection between wine and building relationships when she said, “Whichever glass you choose, may it always be more full than empty.”