How Using The Happiness Project Transformed My Daily Existence  

If you ask most people what they really want in life, a great number of them will say “to be happy.”  However, oftentimes they have trouble defining what “happy” really means to them. I’m talking about true happiness — not just pleasure in a fleeting moment, but sustainable, feel-good, deep inside, happiness.  For a long time, I, like many, could not answer that question either. For this very reason, almost four years ago, I set out on my pursuit of true happiness.

I guess if I really think about it, though, I had a desire for it much longer than that: in fact, as a breast cancer survivor of thirteen years, I wanted my old self back, my happy pre-cancer self. True, I was grateful for life, that I had beat the cancer, and had a good prognosis. But somehow, I had lost my true happiness along the way; perhaps (very likely!) it was because I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, lost my mother and what I thought (then) to be the greatest love of my life within a year of one another.

Sure, I had times where I was happy, but I didn’t have true contentment. Something was missing and honestly, as a cancer survivor, I felt guilty for not being happier, since I had people in my life who loved me, a great career, a booming real estate business, and even with my health challenges, I didn’t feel so bad.

Then, while on business travel, I was in an airport bookstore when I saw The Happiness Project, a book by Gretchen Rubin. I picked it up, started reading on the flight, and was inspired to set out on my journey. In the book, each month is dedicated to a different topic, but all are focused on actions and attitude.  I arrived home, purchased the Happiness Journal that accompanies the book (it asks you to write only one-sentence a day), and I knew I was ready to take my life back!

That said, I must admit getting through all of the topics in the book took me a bit longer than a year (some were a little more difficult for me than others, since they didn’t apply directly to my life).  But here is a summary of what I read, mulled over, and tried to apply:

• Vitality: I focused on my health and my desire to extend my life for as long as I could.  As you might expect, this is particularly important to me as a breast cancer survivor.
• Marriage: Since I am not married and am a self-proclaimed workaholic, I tried to focus on being more social and open to meeting new people.
• Work: I admit this was the easiest for me in many ways, as I tend to be focused on my career and have a desire to be one of the best leaders in my industry.
• Parenthood: As a single, professional woman who does not have children and who has lost the ability to do so, I was initially a bit sad about this topic. It took me some time to get through this and take the approach of focusing on being the best aunt and mentor I could be.
• Leisure: Gretchen’s motto of “being serious about play” is a great way to recalibrate your thinking about having fun, not taking yourself or life too seriously, and most of all forcing you to find something to do that make you happy that has nothing to do with work. My new motto is “Work Hard, Play Harder!”
• Friendship: I adopted a habit of calling, texting and sending random notes to my friends and family to let them know how much they mean to me.  This has caused an amazing transformation in my friendships.
• Money: Reviewing and discussing finances can make some people uncomfortable, and I was one of them (even though I thought I made pretty good financial decisions). So I and a couple of friends decided to develop individual financial plans and keep each other accountable — it has worked out well for each of us!
• Eternity: During this month’s topic, I really focused on my spirituality and centering myself, which made me able to handle things so differently, I gained a newfound sense of compassion towards the people around me.
• Books: I love to read and found because I was in such a career-focused place in my life when embarking on this project, I had stopped reading for leisure. I now try to read one book for leisure at least every other month.
• Mindfulness: I have always been a mindful person but being consistent with my meditation time in the morning even heightened that quality, allowing me to have a better outlook on the day and thus feel happier. (Yes, this project was really working for me!)
• Attitude: I have always thought, “Change your attitude and your habits and change your life.” And that is exactly what I did: I wake up now with an “attitude of gratitude” and my days are much happier.
• Happiness: Let’s admit it, some people are just grumpy smurfs (!), but thankfully, I am not one of them. By focusing on being happy, discovering what makes you happy and trying to surround yourself with happy people, you actually become a happier person with a better outlook on life.

I can honestly say since embarking on this four years ago, I have been in such a different place. I learned that everyone has the ability to become a happier person, it’s just crucial to be willing to take the journey and change your outlook.  Being present in the moment and being committed to this project also provided me the birthing ground for a movement I have started: #LiveIntentionally365. I focus on being present in the moment and intentional about everything I do. This outlook has made even my bad days better and allows me to be an inspiration to others.

It’s very possible that gratefulness and happiness are aligned, and while I don’t profess to be a Pollyanna, I do believe that happiness is a choice. I believe that your current frustrations can be transformed into a breeding ground for future celebrations if you maintain a positive attitude. The difficulties you endure — dealing with a project that has not gone as planned, working with people who are not aligned with your vision, managing through family issues and other life challenges — can take their toll. However, you have to find your happy place in the midst of the madness and wake up each day with a positive outlook ready to conquer the day.