4 Ways to Lighten the Burden of Your (Sometime Stressfull) Life and Feel More Lightness & Freedom  

Ah, springtime! The days are sunnier, the clothing is getting lighter, and everyone around is spring cleaning. Why, then, do you feel so burdened?

Your diet hasn’t gone as planned. There’s a pile of bills on the kitchen counter. You haven’t spoken to your family since Christmas when they criticized your then-boyfriend at dinner, and/or you’re just plain overwhelmed.

It’s time to lighten up. Free yourself of the leaden burdens you’ve been lugging around, since the new year and embrace the sunny seasons ahead.

Let Go of Perfect

“Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?” –Brene Brown, professor and author

On the surface, being a perfectionist seems, well, perfect. Having everything just so. Being the best in your field. Mastering details that others don’t even consider. Unchecked however, perfectionism can steal the joy from your life and cause you to engage in unhealthy internal warfare. Depression, guilt, anxiety…even eating disorders often plague perfectionists, and some psychologists have argued that suicide risk also increases in perfectionists. Wondering if you’re a perfectionist? Take the APA test here.

The anxiety caused by placing the bar too high can press on the soul like a lead weight. To lighten the burden, strive for manageable, realistic goals instead of unattainable perfection. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that would happen is A or B didn’t work?” Instead of success or failure, think growth vs. stagnation. Seek improvement and personal or team growth. If your team didn’t meet the sales goal this month, what did they learn that they will apply next month to achieve that goal?

Instead of waiting for the picture-perfect life to appear in front of you, enjoy living the imperfect one you already have.

Allow Truth to Set You Free

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. — Gloria Steinem, journalist, activist, feminist

Sometimes the truth will set you free, but many more times, it will weigh you down and fill you up until you’re a powder keg ready to blow with the first spark. The truth only sets you free when you release it. What truths are you bottling up for fear that speaking the truth will upset the apple cart? Career truths, such as admitting that you despise your job or chose the wrong career path, can be difficult to admit, let alone vocalize, especially if you’re paying hundreds of dollars each month toward student loan debt. It’s okay. Own it. Start by telling a close friend or family member. Sharing the truth with someone you trust cuts the weight in half and could lead to valuable solutions from someone that knows you well.

Relationship truths can be even harder to navigate, but speaking them aloud will be no less freeing. Anyone who’s ever had a roommate can attest to the heavy load of unspoken truths:

• Your coming home late wakes me up.
• I am disgusted by the way you leave the bathroom (or kitchen) after you’ve used it!
• Why can’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink overnight?

The longer you tamp them down, the hotter the anger becomes, sullying your relationship. You don’t need to be cruel in your approach, but you do need to get it off your chest. Sit down and speak to your roommate, partner or friend about what’s eating away at you.

Conquer Clutter

“Clutter is symptomatic of delayed decision making.” — Cynthia Kyriazis, Productivity Coach

Clutter consumes your office, your home, your brain. It will zap 90% of your energy, take over your counters, and trap you under a mountain of stuff. But why do some people allow clutter into their lives to begin with? First off, there can be a profound mental pain in relinquishing our stuff. Sentimental value placed on items can be one reason you’re still holding on to the mug your aunt gave you at high school graduation, but unless you’re drinking your coffee out of it—or the ten other mugs gifted to you over the years—that mug is a burden you bear. If something doesn’t bring you joy or make your life better, chances are you don’t really need it. Sometimes people hang on to items because letting go of them equals failure, as is the case with the shoes you spent $120 on that pinch your feet and make your toes numb, or the book you bought three years ago and never “got into.” Let them go.

Then there’s office clutter, the type that results in papers scattered everywhere and the inability to put a finger on the right file in a timely fashion. All clutter results from the inability to decide what to pitch or how to sort because of the fear and pain associated with the process. So, we postpone the pain and keep piling on the junk.

Clutter saps your potential at the same time it anchors you in place. If you cannot do it alone, find an online tutorial or hire a professional organizer or coach to walk you through it. You’ll be glad you did.

Read a Good Book

“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.” — Madeleine L’Engle, author

Busy women might think they don’t have time to read for pleasure anymore. They read business or self-help books to stay current with trends, but they forgo the effortless thrill of a novel read poolside on a quiet Saturday afternoon.

If the last book you read had how-to steps, it’s time to lighten up your reading list. Grab a historical romance and travel in time to 18^th century England. Read about best friends on a beach or a murder mystery in the Pacific Northwest. Whatever you choose, read it simply for the pleasure of reading, of allowing your imagination to take control and run away with you for a few hours or a few days. Reading relaxes your mind and allows you to see the world through the eyes of a character completely unlike you, or set you on a path to self-discovery when you identify with the protagonist.

Put your life on a diet. Cut the heavy ropes tying you to perfection. Release some of the feelings you’ve been bottling up because you’re afraid the truth will hurt someone. Fill a bin with the items that no longer serve you, then curl up in a sunny spot with a good book. You’ll be thankful you did.