Healthy Strategies for Getting Past the Pain of Professional Rejection and Forging On
Rejection is often a catalyst for determination, but if we don’t see it this way, in a beneficial light, as fuel that keeps us moving, then it can be the ruination of our dreams. Rejection can also turn into self-doubt and fear easily — so knowing how to handle rejection and turn it into a positively fiery force is something to be admired.
For entrepreneurs, rejection starts early. It’s often the friend or family member who doesn’t like your business idea, the bank that won’t give you the loan, the vendors that think you are a risk to take on, or even the bloggers who are not interested in writing about you. The list goes on. So how does one handle rejection like a boss?
Fight the Inner Critic
The inner critic comes out when rejection happens. It’s alive and kicking in all of us. But once the inner critic can be tamed, rejection is easier to take. Take a daily survey of what you have accomplished or are accomplishing. Write down reasons for gratitude. When you see all the things to be thankful or hopeful for, the inner critic has less ammunition.
My favorite fight stance: A good sit down with a cup of tea, a chocolate cookie, and a gratitude journal. Hiya!
Dance It Off
Coping mechanisms for rejection can be found in the form of distraction. Perhaps you have a hobby or sport you can turn to during this difficult time. Keeping your mind busy or body active is a great escape. It doesn’t erase the rejection, but it’s a lot easier to cope when you don’t have to think about it constantly.
My favorite coping-by-temporary-distraction mechanisms: watching chick flicks, dancing to new wave and old school rap in my jammies, reading poorly written novels, laughing out loud, rearranging my furniture, and binging on Netflix.
A No Is Not Always A No — Sometimes It’s a “Maybe Later”
Accept that maybe it’s a “no” now, but it could be a “yes” later. At some time in our lives, we have all been rejected for projects and then came back around to the client at a later time and then it was a “yes.” Maybe it’s a timing or budget issue, or you just aren’t ready yet to take on this “thing.” Accept it and figure out a way to try harder, do better, and plan another presentation to seek out what you want. You don’t want to be overly persistent, but you also don’t want to give up if there is hope.
My favorite “no” that turned into a “yes”: We presented our wholesale line to a premiere showroom and were rejected. They simply did not see a fit for our products to be sold in their showroom. Yes, we felt dejected, but we ended up spinning that into creative energy. Fast forward six months, and they accepted us. The second time around we felt even better about our product and knew that the first time we were not truly ready. It all worked out.
Don’t Be A Wallflower
Some people retreat to themselves after rejection. Alone time is sometimes needed, but don’t go it alone while you are brooding. It’s ok to admit business rejection and confide in someone you trust. They can comfort you, let you vent, and perhaps offer some helpful advice. My favorite person to turn to: my husband.
No one wants to feel like they are the one with spinach in their teeth. So recognize that rejection is just a feeling, and we have the power to change how we react to situations. It is totally appropriate to feel sad or angry, but know when to move on and turn that energy into something bigger and better. You may even find an amazing hobby or talent in the process!
From Every Rejection There Is A Lesson To be Learned
Something to remember is that you are not a $100 bill, so not everyone is going to love you. In every rejection there is something to learn. After you have coped with the immediate sting of rejection, it is time to reflect on it further. You can delve into self-reflection and see what you could have done better? (Whether it be: next time meeting with a more appropriate decision maker, understanding that a stronger presentation with more numbers and facts are needed, knowing that you need to understand the demographics better that you are pitching to, etc.) Each meeting, presentation and pitch is another learning experience. Making a list of what you learned and what you could do differently next time, will only help you grow from the experience. When you are done making your lists, there is still plenty of time to keep dancing and imagining great things!