Today’s Music Business Community, Where Are All The Women?  

When I left San Francisco nearly two years ago, I took with me a fondness for the city’s music scene: a strong, thriving community filled with people who care about one another, and truly want to help one another succeed. While there, I became part of a weekly industry meet-up called Balanced Breakfast, which was without a doubt the pulse of the city’s music community.  It is also a forum that now operates in many major cities in the U.S.

It started first as a weekly ritual between two Bay Area friends, Stefan Aronson and Andy Freeman, as a breakfast once a week to talk about the local music scene and how to stop everyone from moving to LA. Word quickly spread, and before long it became a meet-up of over forty people a week, all of them waking up early and showing up for meetings from 8 a.m. – 10 a.m. so they could connect with other creators within their music community, talk music, and share a meal with friends.

Trying to Replicate a Casual Networking Circle

I was so excited to return to the east coast with this newfound perspective on community. The beauty of having so many cities participate in Balanced Breakfast is that by building up individual music communities around North America, we’re creating an in-network set of options for whenever members travel to other cities. So if you’re from the San Francisco chapter but touring in Nashville, you’re going to have an instant connection in the city; you’ll have a network of people who will welcome you with open arms, help you book your shows, take you to the best BBQ joint, and answer any questions you might have. It’s kind of like having built-in friends and fans in every city. It’s truly special.

But when I brought the ideas to Boston and later Toronto, I found it harder than I’d imagined to get people to come out and support one another. The vibe was different, and where the west coast and Nashville chapters thrived off community, the East Coast had a strong individualistic attitude where community didn’t matter—only instant results did. It broke my heart to see my home so resistant to something that could only help everyone involved. More unsettling is that I started to learn quickly that of those that came out to the East Coast chapters, a startling percentage were men  — and only men.

It was bad enough when only a few females would turn up for topics like “Bio Writing” or “How to Handle your PR”—professions and topics that typically attract more females than males — but then I also noticed that the more technically geared a topic became (i.e. talking about engineering, mixing, mastering, etc.), even fewer females showed up. For my entire career I’d been told that the industry was a “Boys Club,” and while I’d seen hints of it here and there, nothing made it more obvious than this. It was clearer than ever that men were the only ones taking charge of their careers in this way—and worse, that we, the females, were doing this to ourselves.

Discerning and Dissecting the Female “Holding Back” Dynamic

Is it shyness? Lack of interest? Fear of putting ourselves out there? It’s tough to know for sure, and to make a blanket assumption would be irresponsible. However, for myself, I would blame any lack of attendance on fear and uncertainty. Fear of rejection. Fear of standing out in a bad way. And uncertainty on how to conduct myself.

I once heard Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, say something incredibly powerful in relation to fear and curiosity, and the constant battle between the two. She noted that fear is just doing its job; it’s meant to keep you safe. However, it doesn’t understand that evolution has happened, and that consequently, fight or flight isn’t always appropriate. So in essence, it still never wants you to have any fun because fear thinks that fun = danger.

Whereas, by contrast, curiosity has no boundaries, and an insatiable appetite for adventure. So the key is balance. It is acknowledging fear and appreciating its purpose, while never letting it steer the car. It can come along for the ride, it can share its opinions — but by no means should it be allowed to decide the direction of which you go.

The truth is, I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this: we can’t keep blocking ourselves from the careers and lives that we desire. We can’t let fear and uncertainty keep us from going after our goals. In fact, the more fearful something makes you, the more likely it seems that you need to do that for your own well-being and growth. Challenge yourself. Use your fear as a tool. And whatever you do, don’t cop out of that next engagement—it could be the one to turn your life around.

Written by Angela Mastrogiacomo, Muddy Paw PR CEO & Pub Dir, @Angela_Mastro