7 Steps to Help You Handle Work When You Have an Emergency at Home  

Everyone will have a personal issue impact her work at one point or another. Women still do the lion’s share of caregiving, whether it is for children or for aging parents. Childcare disruptions or an aging family member’s doctor’s appointment can chip away at work time. Managing these issues requires a specific set of ongoing strategies.

But what happens when there is an unexpected, sudden crisis that takes you away from work without prior notice? An upheaval that changes your responsibilities overnight, not just for the moment, but for the foreseeable future, requires a different mindset and mechanisms. Such emergencies pull us away from work and our usual routines. While it is tempting to say “I can’t even think about work right now,” most of us do not have the luxury of stepping away without any thought to the consequences. So what should you do?

• First of all, get where you need to be. When you have pressing responsibilities at work, it’s hard to drop everything. But you will have to do just that. Whether you need to take a drive across town or a cross-country flight, jump on it. It is much easier to address what needs to be done at work remotely than it is to address a crisis from a distance. This is doubly important when there are other family members involved. Highly charged communication is better done in person.

• Recognize your emotional state. No one thinks clearly in a crisis. Some people might feel like they are in a fog; others feel amped up and in full action mode. Neither is a normal state. What you do will be colored by your crisis mode, so be aware of how your emotional state is affecting your decisions and interactions. Do not make long-term decisions in the wake of a crisis.

• Call someone you can count on, outside of the crisis. If something is wrong in your family, call a trusted friend. If your best friend has an emergency, call a close family member. A person who is not affected by the crisis can give better advice. It is not a matter of being objective; instead, it is a balance of knowing you and having enough distance to remain rational.

• Ask an ally at work to help you. For some of us, co-workers are our closest friends, while others maintain professional distance. Regardless, everyone should have an ally at work. Ask your ally to help notify key individuals about the crisis and plan for what has to happen while you are away. Try the opening, “I have had a crisis, and I am not thinking clearly. Can you help me figure out if I have our bases covered for the next two weeks?” Talking about your professional responsibilities with a colleague will help to ensure things will run smoothly while you are gone, and it will take work out of the equation so you have more emotional space for the personal issues at hand.

• Assess the landscape and then share the facts. For some of us, it may be tempting to send a mass email to co-workers explaining our absence. For others, maintaining a separation between work and life is essential. Regardless, don’t give in to either initial impulse. Take some time to reflect on your workplace norms and culture, with your ally if possible. If needed, review relevant leave and HR policies. Then inform the people who need to know. I have found that people are generally inclined to help when they understand the gravity of a situation, so providing specifics may be beneficial if you are comfortable with it. 

• Be upfront about what this crisis demands from you.  Many people find it hard to ask for any accommodation from work, even if personal matters make work impossible. Rather than thinking about what you need, think about the time and energy that will be diverted from work to deal with this crisis. Then share: “My family member’s illness requires me to be absent from the office for the next ___ days. Things are changing quickly, but I will update you again on ____.” 

• Remember that self-care and emotional support come first. A family emergency may require you to travel and address someone else’s needs. Many women in this situation neglect their own needs, and this ends up prolonging their return to productivity at work. Recognize that crises can lead to challenging interpersonal dynamics. Even in the best of circumstances, life-altering crises are emotionally exhausting and require specific, deliberate investment in self-care. There is no one-size-fits-all approach for self-care, but meditation, exercise, and positive social engagement can all play a role.

Every career woman will likely experience a personal upheaval at one time or another, but by following these steps, it will be possible to survive and thrive, personally and professionally, through difficult times.