How to Respect the Views of Others While Staying True to Your Own  

Social networking has connected us like never before in human history. We have access to more information about others, probably more than we should. We have more exposure to the tragedy experienced by others. And we have the opportunity to share our views and opinions with thousands of people in an instant.

In this modern-day connectedness, it’s easy to become desensitized to injustice or to trivialize another’s beliefs. Acknowledgement can be a tool that helps us to recognize that, while we may have conflicting views, we can respect one another’s opinions. Acknowledgement enables you to understand what someone else may be feeling or experiencing without necessarily agreeing with him or her, or claiming responsibility for the situation at hand. Most importantly, acknowledgement enables you to engage with someone else and stay true to your values, despite your differences.

The ways in which we engage with others are learned from the interactions we have with family, friends, and colleagues throughout our lives.

• Family. We first learn to communicate with the members of our family, and we typically pick up their common traits. As infants and toddlers, we explore limits and try out communication techniques with a close family member, usually a parent. If we do not have someone we can trust early on, whether it is a parent or not, we are hindered from learning effective communication techniques.

• Friends. When we get a little older, we begin to engage with people outside our family. As children, we are exposed to others our own age in school, a place where we learn by observing our peers. Friendships are often started due to common interests, and as we develop these friendships, we learn to effectively communicate with people who are like ourselves and begin to feel comfortable expressing ourselves in different ways. Intimate relationships are a higher level of friendship, where we can sometimes feel vulnerable and learn how to communicate when emotions are running high. In healthy relationships, we also develop an argument style that allows us to solve disputes in a way that suits both individuals. Relationships between couples who are unable to create a common and healthy outlet for arguments often end in separation.

• Colleagues. In our professional connections, we often carefully calculate our communication so that we present the image we desire. In these relationships, it is important to balance our personal feelings with our professional demeanor, even if we become emotionally invested in our career. We typically spend very little time examining the relationships that have developed our communication skills, and even less time trying to improve and strengthen those skills. When we have misunderstandings, we often believe that it is because of the other person, and we begin looking for new relationships with people who might understand us better.

But diversity is beautiful and most beautiful things are complex. If you surround yourself only with like-minded people, you may not be exposed to different beliefs and opinions and, therefore, may not have the opportunity to grow and learn new things. New perspectives help us to determine how important our beliefs are and how far we are willing to go to stand up for them.

New perspectives can also create conflicts in our relationships. Our colleagues, our friends, and even members of our family can have fundamentally different beliefs from ours. This is where acknowledgement can be a powerful tool to navigate or avoid conflict.

What does acknowledgement look like? It begins with showing the other person that you are actively listening to what he or she is saying. That means making eye contact and giving him or her your full attention—is not possible to multitask when you are fully engaged in another person’s conversation.

Patience is also a crucial component of acknowledgement. Let the other person tell his or her story without interrupting or inserting your own personal experiences or ideas. This doesn’t mean that you must sit down and listen to someone speak for an extended period of time—especially if you are in a hurry—nor does it mean that you must relinquish control of the conversation. But it does mean that you are kind and considerate when listening to others, especially if you need to let them know that you have time constraints, and that you encourage them to express their feelings so that you can learn from the discussion.

By reflecting on the way your relationships have helped you develop your communication skills and being open to listening to the ideas and experiences of diverse individuals, you will develop your ability to acknowledge others while remaining true to your own values.