How to Continue Feeling Accomplished and Excited in Your 20’s
From the time you graduate high school until you graduate college, your life – if you are fortunate — is filled with almost constant excitement, with new experiences daily: being introduced to fascinating topics in your courses, meeting people from different walks of life, lots of “firsts” (everybody’s are different, but they usually take place in the social realm), and accomplishments to celebrate after every exam. That’s a lot of “highs” to take in over several years.
This instant gratification of your early 20s, however, comes to a sudden halt after graduation and you take on the task of entering the real world.
The Post-College Funk – and its Remedy – Explained
The pressure to “grow up and get it together” is immediately apparent once your degree is awarded. Older generations wait impatiently for their younger versions to find their spot in society, and complete it with a spouse and family in tow. But for those of us not quite ready to start a family and still waiting for that job to become a career, life can leave a void that nostalgia only attempts to fill.
It’s easy to understand that nostalgia: college is one of the few times in most people’s lives they can live with reckless abandon. It’s also one of the first times you experience what it’s like to be an adult and make your own decisions. Because most of us lived until then under the care and guidance of our parents, every day after that was filled with countless opportunities to decide the direction our lives will take.
But deciding whether or not to nurse a hangover at your 9 a.m. corporate meeting becomes less thrilling, and you realize you’re at a plateau. Suddenly an entire year has gone by, and you have little more to show for it than an ever-expanding, stylish career wardrobe. It becomes very apparent at that point what your parents meant by “blinking away” twenty years.
As kids, we’re trained to follow instructions and believe that good things will subsequently happen. Little by little, then, we earn responsibility and gain opportunities to make decisions for ourselves. But because our lives are so structured while under parental care, we’re not taught what to do when the rug is pulled out from underneath of us. Instead, in our 20’s, we’re left wondering why we don’t feel more fulfilled after finally being finished with school, and working a full-time job that pays a salary (which should be cause for excitement in itself).
So here’s the reason you’re feeling a void: it isn’t because you’re missing house parties, it’s because you’re not consistently accomplishing things. In school you had opportunities to do this constantly: choosing how much or little you would study for an exam, then sitting down and taking it. It is a simple formula of “here is the setting; here is your goal; now you figure out how to achieve it.” If, after you leave school, you’re not a naturally motivated individual, it’s hard to picture what to do next in the daily chain of events. If no one is telling you what to accomplish, how do you know what to do?
The cure-all lies in the fact that there was something pretty significant you learned in those four years in college: the ability to achieve greatness. The classroom was the setting and the professors set the goals, but you achieved them by working hard, and finding what motivated you to succeed. So this is how a modified version of that can help you in the post-academic setting: take away the four walls and someone else’s goal and substitute your own. I promise you, it’s that simple.
Your 20’s, Reinvigorated (with Instructions)
As cliché as it sounds, your post-college 20s truly are a time for self-discovery. At that point, it’s evident that you can read a textbook and recite an answer about a given topic — but you likely know very little about you. Learning what makes you happy and eager to work is the undisputed first step in staying consistently excited. Here’s how to do it:
Figure You Out
Doing this means a lot of trial and error. Saying yes to new experiences, joining groups or teams, taking up hobbies, traveling, remembering – and taking up again – a cherished childhood hobby are just a few ways to get the wheels turning. Once you’ve determined what your general interests are, you’re halfway there.
Pin Point Your Passions
Narrow down 1-2 interests you’ve discovered (or re-discovered) – then do some research on what achievements are associated with them. This could be a certification, an award, another degree, or a mastery of any sort. This will serve as your goal or affirmation that you’re exceptional at this specific pursuit.
Set The Clock
Once your goal is decided on, give yourself a set amount of time to achieve it. Using major holidays, year-end or vacation days are always helpful because they’re littered throughout the year. The payoff when you achieve your goal will yield an immediate psychological reward, with an added bonus that you’ve accomplished it efficiently via a pre-planned schedule.
Remember Why You Started
Along the journey of accomplishing your goal, you’re going to get discouraged. In some way you’ll hit a wall and want to give up. In that exact moment, take a deep breath and remember exactly why you started. Then press on.
Celebrate Harder Than Ever
Hitting a goal is only as fun as the acknowledgement, which is why pieces of paper representing my $48,000 investment are hanging from my wall. Aside from the personal accomplishment, make sure you celebrate. Bring friends, family, or your significant other, and dedicate a night to acknowledging your hard work.
Repeat all of the above as needed.
The more you learn about yourself and where you’d like your life to go, the easier setting goals will become. You’ll be able to determine what it takes to accomplish aims that lead you to the big picture, such as a new career direction. The ability to view goal-setting as do-able can also help you hone in more nebulous targets down the road, like saving for retirement. The gratifying end result can be that you are helping yourself to grow up in this area, and finally crossing the post-college bridge into the arena of maturity.
14TAGS: Graduates