One of the Best Career Tips Ever on Acknowledging Hard Work  

I was doing a coaching session with a mentor a few years ago. In the course of conversation, she asked how things were going at my company overall. I answered energetically that things were going very well: we were exceeding numbers, the company was growing, our management team was bringing in new perks every day, and I was having a ton of fun. And how I felt so lucky!

She looked at me intensely and said, “Betsy, can I offer you some coaching right now?” Of course, I responded affirmatively. Then she proceeded to give me some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
“You are not lucky. You made it happen. You are there because of what you do. Quit giving away the credit.”

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, that piece of advice changed the way that I think about my words and actions in a profound way. Why?  Because when we say we “are lucky,” we insinuate that we have nothing to do with the positive circumstance or outcome — and that can be far from the truth.

In fact, we often play a significant role. We study, we prepare, and we research. We continue to develop our knowledge and skill set and learn from our mistakes. We take classes, go to seminars, get mentors, and learn. We put in the hard work. We show up most days with our game faces on ready to play. We are prepared to say “yes” or step up when the opportunity presents itself. And many of us take the initiative and create our own opportunities. The fact is, we are not lucky, we are achievers.

“I wasn’t lucky. I deserved it.” – Margaret Thatcher

You hear the word “lucky” all the time. We say it, our coworkers say it, and our friends say it. Being lucky is even a hashtag on social media that gets a lot of play. But in the sense of how we use that word, I would suggest that we start using the word “grateful” instead. For many of us, it’s time to stop giving away the credit to some twist of fate or magic genie and start owning it.

I would liken the frequent use of this word to a bad habit – and changing the habit loop is hard! The first step is to be aware. The habit loop typically goes like this: Cue/Routine/Reward. For example:

• Cue: Something causes you to think that being fortunate explains your current situation. Is it being proud about something? Is it the urge to share a success you’ve had?
• Routine verbiage: “I’m so lucky!”
• Reward: You appear humble, self-deprecating, or willing to share the (perhaps undue) spotlight. These are all very safe, team player, nice-girl attributes.

But I’d argue that you can still be a great team player and nice, while acknowledging your contribution in the situation. Research shows that the easiest way to change the habit loop is to create a new routine when you cue. When you want to say you are “lucky,” try substituting one of the phrases below to keep your power and accept your role in the outcome:

• I’m so grateful…
• I worked really hard…
• I took the opportunity…
• Thank you!

With habit, it’s easy to say the phases above and convey the same sentiment, but in a more honest and impactful way. So:

• First, practice saying any of the phrases above.
• Pair that with getting a trusted coworker, friend, or spouse on board to point it out to you when you say “I’m lucky” in a business context.
• Next, make a list of all of the ways that you have taken part, influenced, or created accomplishments, and look back at your last review or the last few months of your calendar to get some ideas of what you have done and the efforts you have made.
• And finally, set some goals for what you would like to do in the next week, month, and year – for example, read a book a month, watch a TEDTalk every week, or take an online class. All of these steps will change your perspective from one of luck to one of action.

Why is that important? As women, owning what we do and how we contribute will help us in day-to-day situations and will build our confidence, our reputations, and our sphere of influence over the long term. All of this will positively propel our careers, relationships and better selves for the long-term. #itwasntluck