A Three-Pronged Approach to Help You Find the Happiness and Success You Desire  

At one point or another, most of us find ourselves less than thrilled with our jobs. Our feelings may range from a little unhappy to dreading every minute of every day. The reasons vary: Something changed, nothing has changed, the challenge is gone, it’s challenging but not in a good way, and so on.

How you respond can be equally as varied. You may decide you need to get out — now! This often happens when something occurs that changes your situation directly and quickly. Have you ever found yourself like the frog in the pot of water who doesn’t notice the heat was turned on and the water is gradually getting hotter? In this case, you may stay and continue to tolerate the “heat” of your job until it’s too late. Maybe your focus is on what’s in front of you, and you didn’t notice the bigger picture. Following are the stories of some professionals who are finding themselves unhappy with their situations.

Doing
Jenny recently lost her management-consulting job due to a reduction in force (RIF). She’s not sure she wants to continue working in consulting. In fact, she’s not sure what she wants to do. What she does know is she doesn’t want to be unemployed, so Jenny is a flurry of activity: from applying to as many jobs as possible to attending every networking event she can find. With no time to waste, her approach is to do everything and anything. She’s determined to get a job ASAP.

A counterpart to Jenny is Lisa. Currently employed, Lisa is also a flurry of activity. She is so busy with her job that she seems to always be working. She never says “no,” so she’s always taking on more. With so much on her plate, she’s focused on what’s in front of her at any given time. Lisa hasn’t been enjoying her work for a while now, but she doesn’t possibly have time to do anything about it, or she’ll fall too far behind. She’s committed to doing what she’s asked.

Being
Like Jenny, Terri is also in transition and has been for almost a year. When her company restructured, it impacted her job. She felt the changes were unfair and accepted a six-month package to leave. Doing the standard job search activities, she is feeling frustrated that she still hasn’t landed a job. She feels people just aren’t helping her the way she thinks they should. While Terri has gotten a few interviews, she can’t believe no one has hired her yet. She’s fixated on being a victim.

Still employed, Sandra is feeling frustrated with her situation, too. She’s been working in the same role, doing the same work for five years. She wants to move up to the next level, especially as she’s watched team members advance. Sandra believes her experience is different from the others, and her degree is from a lesser school. Not challenged by her work, she’s confident she could do much more. If she can stick it out, she hopes someday she’ll get promoted. She’s resigned to waiting for something to happen.

Knowing
Chelsea was surprised to find herself in transition. She had been thinking about starting to look for something new when she was told she was being let go. Wanting to find a job she’ll love, she’s being careful with her search. Three months in, she hasn’t applied to any jobs yet because she’s busy with researching, planning, and preparing to find a job. She’s surprised at how she’s always finding more to do and how quickly time flies. She’s challenged with moving to action.

Beth has always loved her work and is proud of how she’s progressed in her career. Lately, she’s not feeling as motivated by what she’s doing. She thinks a lot about her desire to have more impact and meaning in her work. Whether she’s daydreaming, sharing ideas with friends, or creating plans for the future, doing something completely different is often on her mind. While she talks and plans, she hasn’t actually done anything to take that next step. She’s focused on imagining what might be.

An Incomplete Approach

What do you notice about each of these situations? For one thing, each person is reacting to her situation with a slightly different approach, none of which seems to be as effective as the person would like.

Chelsea and Beth are focused on figuring out what they want and how they will get it. They’re so busy creating a vision for what’s next, that they are not doing what is needed to make it happen. Whether intentional or unintentional, conscious or unconscious, avoiding action will make it difficult for them to achieve what they really want.

On the flipside, action is the driver for Jenny and Lisa. Both are focused on doing as much as possible, yet neither has taken the time to get clear on their objectives. Without knowing what they want, they are busy with activity more than intentional action. This is likely to lead to less productive use of their time and energy and to a less satisfying outcome.

Terri and Sandra may have some clarity on what they want and have taken action to achieve it. However, their mindsets are impacting their progress. Neither sees — whether through attitude, action, or inaction — how she has shifted accountability externally. Their expectations and beliefs about what “should” be happening are standing in their way of achieving their goals.

Creating vs. Reacting

As George Bernard Shaw said, “The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.” By reacting to your situation, like the professionals above, you may skip important steps in the process or lose sight of your goals or your role in achieving them. Rather than just reacting to what’s in front of you, try creating what you want to be. This approach gives you more control of your destiny and tends to lead to greater happiness and success.

A creative approach incorporates all three of the elements highlighted in the stories above: knowing, being, and doing. While it is tempting to start doing immediately, it helps to start with knowing. Get clear on what you want to achieve and understand your priorities, needs, and desires. Think about what you need to make it happen. This may include information, connections, or other resources. When you know what you want, it is easier to find it.

What is “being,” and why is it important in this process? Being is how you show up. Your mindset, beliefs, perception, and expectations can have a big impact on what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. While it may sound like a cliché, a positive attitude will make a difference. It will open you up to possibility. You’ll tend to do more and do it better. Doubt or other negative beliefs, on the other hand, will cloud your efforts and make your work more difficult. Believing you are responsible for achieving your goals will keep you focused on deliberate and productive action. That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone! Help from others is vital, as is helping others help you rather than waiting for them to do it for you.

The third element is doing. Obviously, action is critical to achieving your goals. A reactive response is to do something, anything. A creative response is about being intentional. Build on the foundation of what you know you want and what you need to get it. Use that to develop a plan for moving forward. Executing that plan means getting out and doing. Understand that action will both foster clarity and reveal where it’s lacking. The key is to keep learning throughout the process and create a feedback loop. Continue to refine what you know and the actions you choose to take as you move forward. Tweak your plan to stay focused and productive. Keep your goal in mind. Throughout the process, pay attention to your perception and beliefs. Make adjustments, as needed, to stay positive and creative.

The change process has some pitfalls. Uncertainty, fear, and other negative feelings about your future can be challenging to manage and can lead to a desire to do what’s easy, whatever comes along that will get you out of your current situation. Taking action can be scary. It may feel comfortable to keep planning, researching, or learning more, while avoiding the actual doing. Waiting for something to happen can also derail your forward progress. Ultimately, action will make the difference. Consistently, I see the people who connect, engage, and do are the ones who achieve their goals more quickly and are happy with the outcome. Go out and create your future!