5 Tips to Help You Mix Business with Pleasure  

Landing a spot at a startup in Silicon Valley during the dot.com period is usually considered both career defining and thrilling. Not many people can say they volunteered to be sacked during that storied period — but I can. I can also thank my daughter for helping me make the next decision in my career, not realizing at the time how important it would be.

I had been hired to develop a new business strategy and had a solid plan in place when my boss suggested I fire half my team as part of a restructuring. I told him he should fire me instead. He listened.

I still had a successful career with Pacific Bell, so I knew stepping away from the startup was the right move. But by the time I got home, I was pretty emotional, because my career had always been a big priority. In between tears and trying to figure out my next move, I asked my daughter, who was eight years old at the time, what she would think if Mommy was home for a bit. She calmly said, “Mommy, I never get to see you since you’re always at work, but it’s your decision to make.”

As soon as those words left her mouth, I knew the next several months would be dedicated to my daughter and being the best mom I could be.

As I went from conference calls and board meetings to school lunches and field trips, I quickly realized all that I had been missing. Other moms, and even my daughter’s teachers, knew more about what she liked and didn’t like than I did. Now that I had more time with her, my daughter could share all the details of her day with me – who she talked to, what she learned – instead of giving me just a quick recap.

During my year off work, I also learned important lessons about myself. So, when I began interviews at Wells Fargo, I had a newfound knowledge of what was important to me in my life: rather than trying to balance my professional and personal lives, I would integrate the two. Fortunately, my new office environment fostered this type of thinking.

If you are having a hard time balancing your career and personal goals and want to try and integrate them instead, here are a few tips to keep in mind:

• Give yourself permission to make space for what is important. It’s okay to reprioritize your day in a way that allows you to head out a little early to join your family for dinner, catch up with a dear friend, or cheer at your child’s soccer game.
• Strengthen relationships with your colleagues. Tell them about the things that you care about and what’s going on in your life so they know what is important to you beyond your job and your career. Don’t wait until you need to take time off work to have that discussion with your boss or co-workers; keep them up-to-date on what’s happening at home so they’ll understand if you need some extra time away from the office.
• You don’t have to be good at “everything” all at once. Women want to conquer it all and be good at everything. But that’s not realistic. When you’re having one-on-one time with your boss, let him or her know that you want to give everything you have, but there are times when you have to take care of others, whether it is your child, spouse, friend, or parents. Trying to be good at everything can mean you fail at everything. Instead, try to focus on a few things at a time.
• Talk to your children about what you do. If you have kids, talk to them about your career so they know why you can’t make it to their field trip or school play. And let them have an active role in figuring out how you can make the time up. Maybe it’s an ice cream date, a trip to the aquarium, or just a movie night.
• Build a network at work. Find people at work who can help with your job responsibilities so productivity doesn’t have to be put on hold while you’re gone. Things will pop up that you can’t control, and it’s reassuring that someone has your back. 

Integrating your personal and professional lives can lead to greater enjoyment of both, and it’s possible to do, if you communicate what that means for you and demonstrate your commitment to your career to build a network you can count on when life happens.