4 Words to Remove from Your Business Conversations and Replace Them with More Effective Terminology  

When it comes to communication, what you choose not to utter is as important as what you choose to say. Here are four simple tweaks that can help you strengthen your “way with words.”

1. “Sorry”
Let’s take a quick check: raise your hand if you have said “sorry” in places where it was absolutely unnecessary or in reaction to someone else’s mistake. A few years ago, I would have raised both my hands to the above question. (I am still a recovering sorry-addict.) I would say “sorry” as a knee-jerk reaction to many instances like making space for myself in a crowded networking room, as a prefix to a suggestion or a feedback, and even to express my disappointment to a waiter (or waitress) who messed up my order. Then one day I realized the dangerous effect it was having on my life. Subconsciously, I was reducing my impact and presence in the minds of the people to whom I was saying sorry. I realized it was being said to make me appear nice – unfortunately, too nice for my own and their good.

What to Say Instead?

• Take a self-check. Are you a victim of the “Sorry Syndrome”? Getting awareness of the problem is the first step towards solving it.
• Pay extra attention to situations where apologizing without requirement can undermine your presence and credibility, such as client and board meetings.
• Don’t apologize without reason. Remind yourself not to use the “S” word three times before entering the room.

2. “Just”
The second culprit of the day is the four-lettered word “just.” Why? Because it simply diminishes the power of your message.

• “I just want to add one more thing.”
• “I just want to give a suggestion.”

What to Say Instead?

• Like “sorry,” check if you are adding “just” in your emails and conversations before every question, request or suggestion.
• Practice dropping the word. Simply say, “I want to give a suggestion.”

3. “I guess”/”I think” /”I believe”/”I feel”
About two months ago, I was facilitating a training on Negotiation Communication. During one of the exercises, the participants paired up to practice a 5-minute “Negotiation Role Play” exercise. As I moved around the room to see how everyone was doing, I heard words and phrases such as:

• “I guess what I am trying to say is that I achieved all my targets for last quarter.”
• “I guess we should have this discussion again in two weeks.”
• “I think I can take on added responsibilities that come with this promotion…”
• “I feel my work is not acknowledged.”

When the exercise was complete, we started to discuss their experiences, and the participants realized that those who avoided words like “guess,” “think,” “believe” and “feel” were able to communicate their points more assertively. The truth is that these words appear weak and give the impression that you are unsure and unclear about your own message. This in turn reduces your impact and credibility.

What to Say Instead?
In his article, “Replace Meaningless Words with Meaningful Ones,” published in The Harvard Business Review, Jeremy Weissman suggested a few more assertive and impactful substitutes like the following:

• “I am confident”
• “I am convinced”
• “I expect”

4. “But”
Although a seemingly simple conjunction, “‘but” is the root cause of many misunderstandings and negativity in communication. Why? Because it erases from our minds anything that was said right before that. The minute people hear this word, they begin to think that whatever is coming next is not positive at best, and critical and harsh at worst.

Imagine, for instance, a leader giving feedback to one of her employees: “Your performance for the last two quarters has been great. But I think you still need to work on your interpersonal communication.” In this kind of feedback, the employee is more likely to be disappointed about the lack of his communication skills than to be encouraged about his good performance.

What to Say Instead?
Say “And”’ Instead of Saying “But.” In fact, the word “and” can change the way a thought is communicated, taking it from negative to positive gear. Look at this example:

• “I understand that you are stressed about the project launch. But it is not good for team morale that you lose your cool over the slightest of mistakes.”
•  “I understand that you are stressed about the project launch. And so it is important that you keep up the team morale by not losing your cool over the slightest mistakes.”

 In a business environment, we are all struggling to get more time, energy and attention. Why waste a little bit of each of those by using extra, unhelpful words? As Robin Sharma said, “Words can inspire. Words can destroy. Choose yours well!”