5 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence  

I’ve never been pretty – at least that’s what I told myself while growing up. No one had to tell me I was ugly or unattractive; it was simply a given, and subliminally understood, since no one ever complimented me on my looks. Also, I wasn’t asked out on dates, nor did my family and friends ever tell me that I looked beautiful. I was too dark. My lips were too big. I was too skinny. So, for about the first half of my life, I assumed the worst, because after all, if no one calls you beautiful, pretty, stunning or gorgeous, it has to mean that you reflect the opposite.

Or so I thought.

It’s amazing how we allow the people and circumstances around us to change and alter our self-esteem, our level of self-confidence – in effect, giving people and events power that they aren’t meant to have. Put simply, it’s called self-esteem and self-confidence for a reason. It can only be maintained, or diminished, by what you think about yourself. Yet, sadly, many times, we put it into the hands of people who really don’t care about us one way or another.

So…if you’ve ever said out loud, “I’m ugly. I’m not pretty. No one finds me attractive,” this is for you. Here are five ways to give your self-confidence a boost:

Speak Positively to Yourself
I know what you’re thinking – but truly, people who talk to themselves aren’t crazy or psycho. The more you speak positively about your own life, out of your own mouth, the more you will believe it. Your words produce an atmosphere and a force to be reckoned with.

So don’t wait for someone else to tell you that you look beautiful or that you’re pretty. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror looking back at you, speak positively about what you want to see. That way, when people do speak highly of you, those comments will be greater confirmation of your own truth – not a form of external validation.

Get a Makeover
It doesn’t have to be a special occasion for you to get a total makeover. Call your favorite makeup artist or visit your local department store and get your face made over for the day! Cut your hair, color your hair, or—if you’re bold enough—do both! Do what makes you feel like a new you. And by all means, be sure to take plenty of photos to remind you of your makeover your and new ‘do! 

Find your Purpose and Passion
They may be one and the same — but then again, sometimes, they are not. So find the thing that if you could, you would do it for free because you love it so much. What’s the one thing that you do so well that no one else can do it just like you? What drives you to get out of bed in the morning? It may be singing, playing an instrument, business coaching and consulting, or even styling hair. But whatever it is that you do, like only you can do best, go ahead and do it with your whole heart and your head held high. Forget the competition! Sure, there may be others on the planet who do something similar – but they definitely don’t do it like you!

Compliment Someone Else
That’s right — you heard me correctly. Why this step, you may ask yourself?  Because that which you put out is what will come back to you. It works in both negative and positive ways. Complimenting another woman on her fly shoes, her flashy hair or her sexy dress does not take anything away from you as a person. As a matter of fact, it speaks to others about your own self-confidence. Everyone is not your competition, even in business.

And surely, complimenting another woman goes above and beyond the normal standard of manners. After all, you don’t know what type of day she may be having! Some women dress fly and flashy, but deep-down their hearts are bleeding. A compliment can change the entire course of someone else’s day—even yours.

Give
This just doesn’t mean money. Give of your time. Give of your resources. How can you help someone else? Be a mentor or Big Sister. Tutor children at a local preschool. Organize a clothing drive for a local charity (look-up a local Dress for Success Chapter). I guarantee you, as you take the focus off of your life’s problems, and channel that energy into something great for someone else, those problems will diminish and disappear. There is a great feeling of self-fulfillment and pride that comes from helping others, especially when we may feel we don’t have anything to give. Here’s a clue: You always have something to give! Dig deeper!