7 Tips to Help You Face One of the Biggest Challenges of Your Life  

You are hitting your professional stride, feeling great about your career path, and consistently exceeding your manager’s expectations. Perhaps your name has been mentioned by senior executives as having the potential to join their ranks one day. You have the confidence that comes from years of experience, but still plenty of “runway” to grow.

You are feeling great about your personal life, too. Maybe you are newly engaged, or you already have a thriving marriage. You could also be a beautiful, confident singleton enjoying the social scene.

This is the life that you have worked so hard to build, and you deserve it … but one day, it all crashes to the ground; at least that’s how it feels when you receive a life-altering medical diagnosis.

It was supposed to be a routine visit, a simple test, or a short outpatient procedure. In short, no big deal; but instead, you now have to come to terms with a major medical crisis. A million things run through your mind, especially the impact this will have on your job. The over-achiever in you is already thinking about how the diagnosis will impact your career trajectory. Before you get too far ahead of yourself, use these guidelines to help manage what may be one of the biggest challenges of your life:

Breathe and Learn How to Accept Help
Upon receiving the initial diagnosis, your mind starts spinning as you try to figure out how you can “fix” this. The simple fact of the matter is, you can’t. All of the slide decks and spreadsheets in the world can’t help you. Take a deep breath and do something you are not accustomed to: Ask for help. When people ask you what you need, or pose the ubiquitous statement: “Let me know if you need anything,” say yes, and tell them what you need. Now is not the time to be shy or modest. You need to summon all of your strength and courage. Actually use that network you’ve spent so many years building. Believe it or not, your loved ones and colleagues want to help you.

Be Honest with Your Manager
Do not downplay the extent of your illness or medical crisis. Level with your manager about your diagnosis and your doctor’s advice for your recovery.  Doing so will help to alleviate stress. You will be able to focus on your recovery, because you have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your work is being handled. If you need to ease back into your professional duties, do not be afraid to make that request. It is better to resume your duties gradually than to jump right in when you’re not ready and risk relapse.

Learn to Say “No.”
Not only were you a rock star at work, but there was also no end to all your social and community service activities. Yes, you were the one who took on extra assignments at work and also joined every board to which you were invited. You spent your weekends training for marathons or volunteering in your community. You were always busy. And you loved it! Now, you must prioritize your recovery. Even as you start to feel a little like your old self, you cannot underestimate the trauma that you have experienced, both mentally and physically. You may get tired faster than you used to. You may not be able to engage in all of your prior activities. Now is the time to reassess and take on only those projects and activities that are the most meaningful or bring you the most peace. Put the others on hold, unapologetically, until you are ready to return.

Take It e]Easy on Yourself
Don’t beat yourself up if you are not reaching certain recovery milestones as quickly as you would like. The human body is remarkable, but you must allow it to heal at its own pace.  You are not in complete control here. You can’t just will yourself out of this. Follow your doctor’s orders, be patient, and accept the fact that you may need a therapist to help you through the mental trauma that so often accompanies the physical one.

Choose Your Future Managers Wisely
Studies show that when people quit their jobs, they are really quitting their managers. We all know the horror of working for an awful manager. Maybe you become insecure and lose faith in your abilities. On the flip side, working for a great manager can be a breath of fresh air. Your ideas are respected, and you feel professionally reinvigorated. A great manager combines technical expertise with a personal touch. At times of crisis, you need a manager who is a good, decent person. Someone who knows his or her way around the company to help you navigate, but also respects the fact that you need to follow doctor’s orders to heal. No matter the prestige of the company or salary, never accept a position if your instincts tell you that your manager is not a good person. You know the experience of meeting someone and feeling you need to wash your hands afterward or, even worse, a glass of wine to recover. Do whatever you can to avoid working for that person, regardless of how great the position seems.

Forgive Yourself
This may be the hardest thing to do, especially for type A overachievers. You feel guilty about the toll your illness is taking on your family, friends, and co-workers. If you’re a mom, you worry about how your children are coping. If you’re married, you worry about whether your spouse can “hold it down” when you’re not one hundred percent. You will run through all of your decisions many times over, wondering “What could I have done differently to prevent this?” “I should never have missed that physical.” “If only I had gone to the follow-up appointment sooner.” But, sometimes, crises happen and there is nothing that could have been done to prevent them. Your expert organizational skills could not save you from that accident, complication, or your own genetic history. You may know this intellectually, but you have to own it and accept it at the core of your being. This experience is part of who you are now. Forgive yourself for anything that you feel you did wrong or perhaps didn’t do at all, and pour your energy into healing.

Embrace Your EQ
Grow through the experience. The qualities that you develop or refine in managing your illness or health crisis can help you as you return to your professional life. Empathy, patience, that emotional intelligence that we hear so much about, is sometimes in short supply in the workplace. Use it to your advantage to help you relate better to clients and co-workers.

Setbacks are inevitable, whether they are mental or physical. There will be times when you just cannot summon your positive attitude. Your mindfulness breathing techniques that were so helpful last week may be falling short this week. During these times, remember that, in this moment, who you are, and everything you have, is enough. Even if you never earn another promotion, award, or accolade, you already have it all. You faced the biggest challenge of your life, and you’re stronger and wiser for it.  From this point forward, just bask in the knowledge that each triumph is what every professional loves … a bonus!