12 Things Every Woman Should Have to Navigate Life 

Ask any woman to list the items in her purse or briefcase and you will likely to be surprised at the items women routinely carry to navigate the little inconveniences life might throw her way: lipsticks, makeup remover wipes, a sewing kit, dental floss, a tea bag, a packet of tissues… Every item assembled and carried about “just in case.”

But what about the must-haves that do not fit into a woman’s bag? What should a woman absolutely have to help her navigate through her career, her family, and her life?

A Promise Yourself Ring
In days of old, a young man often gave a young woman a promise ring, as a pledge of his undying love and a reminder of his noble intention to make good on his promises. Let’s give a fresh face to a tired tradition.

A woman should purchase herself a ring—or another piece of jewelry if she prefers—as a reminder of her love for herself and as a vow that she will always return to her hopes and dreams. The promise yourself ring symbolizes the faith that despite the odds stacked against you, you will prevail because this is your dream, your career, and your life.

A Best Friend
No one knows you like your best friend. Some of the most successful women on the planet, Oprah and Dolly Parton have lifelong best friends, Gayle King and Judy Ogle, respectively, who travel with them, listen to them, and probably aren’t afraid to tell them when they are wrong. The best part about a best friend is they can be honest with you even when you can’t be honest with yourself.

An Auntie
Sometimes, you just can’t talk to your mom about certain things. You can always ask your Auntie. Aunties can be blood relatives, but often an Auntie is a good friend of your parents that you called “Aunt” when you were growing up. She is the woman who sneaked you beers when you were underage and is the person who never criticized your boyfriend or your choice of colleges. She can mother you a little when you need it most, but she can also just be your friend. She can be your voice of reason or your partner in crime.

The Perfect Jeans
Remember the book and movie, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? Each girl could fit into the jeans—despite their obvious differences in proportion—and those jeans carried a magic power to make the wearer feel invincible. You know it the very first time you try them on; the fit is perfect, and they go with heels or flats. Yes, behind every successful woman is a pair of jeans that makes her look and feel amazing.

A Favorite Book
Every woman needs a favorite book that she keeps on her desk or on her bedside table, within five fingers’ reach at any moment. A great book, such as The Boxcar Children, can connect you with the happy memories of your childhood, reading with your third grade teacher. A favorite book might cause you to reflect on what is truly important, as does Walden, or make you question authority, as with Animal Farm. Maybe your favorite book transports you to another time and place in search of a flame-haired Scot after a long day filled with meetings, as Outlander does.

Time to Herself
Every woman needs a little time away where the only expectation is that she be present for herself and her own thoughts. Your brain needs a rest; it grows and processes at that time. If you overload your brain, rather than increasing your productivity, you actually decrease it.

Schedule a time to do something just for you, even if you can only arrange one hour alone each week. Take a walk. Put in earplugs and take a bath while ignoring the kids rattling the bathroom door. Meditate. When everything else feels like it is outside your control, you will still control that one hour, unconditionally.

A Mentor
Men·tor noun: An experienced and trusted adviser.

A woman needs at least one mentor, but she should happily accept more if the universe offers them. Mentors will tell you when there are obstacles or potential landmines in your path that you cannot see. A mentor will say to you, “I’ve been there, and it is going to be okay” when you don’t think anyone else quite understands.

A Favorite Song
Every woman needs a song that sets her soul on fire and makes her want to dance in elevators and sashay down the street. Music possesses such a powerful ability to alter mood, that therapists often utilize it in treatment. Upbeat music can release serotonin and dopamine, which in turn create a sense of happiness and well-being. Just as Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with Your Best Shot” got you through a break up or two, a powerful song can power you through even the toughest workday.

A Favorite Sports Team
For ages, people have rallied behind at favorite sportsman or team. In the Middle Ages during festivals, the village divided into teams, neighbor against neighbor, to play village-wide games. The Romans had the Colloseum and their gladiators. Today, we have an array of sports teams from Little League to professional sports leagues from around the world. They all offer the same thing, an emotional connectedness with fellow humans and a chance to belong to something bigger than you are.

Somewhere to Volunteer
A woman should have a cause in which she believes and a place to volunteer. Volunteering, giving something as precious as your time, reminds you that if you are fortunate enough to be able to do something to benefit someone else, you are fortunate indeed.

A Special Place
Every woman should have a special place to go that makes her happy everytime. Maybe it’s the coffee shop around the corner, a park near your house, or a favorite bed & breakfast inn; no matter where your favorite place is, your soul is at ease there.

A Toolbox
Every woman should own a toolbox filled with tools and possess a general knowledge of how to do simple tasks and make simple repairs. She should be able to use a level to hang a picture, plung a toilet, and tighten the water connection to the refrigerator. She should have the confidence to tackle minor home maintenance like snaking a drain and painting a room or two. A woman should be able to do these things, not to prove anything to anyone, but because she is a woman, and capable, and one tough chick.