Four Ways to Boldly Pursue Your Dreams  

It’s no secret that women are relational creatures, and that we want meaningful connections with other women. We seek out friendships and mentors in the workplace, looking for inspiration in others. In the best scenarios, we work in places where positive and impactful relationships are formed, encouraging each other to reach new levels.

Sometimes those influences aren’t there, though.  So how do you find inspiration when you want to go a different way?  When your workplace mentors are great, but their paths don’t line up with the dreams you have for yourself?  How do you carve a new path, bravely, when the accomplishments of those you look up to aren’t what you want to pursue?

I was asking myself these questions recently, when I made a big career change after spending eleven years pursuing a dream with a lovely group of people.   I enjoyed my time with them, and they inspired me on a daily basis. However, as time went on I realized that I needed to go a different direction, and it terrified me. I’m not a risk-taker by nature, and taking this leap meant I quickly needed to find new sources of inspiration, or I wouldn’t have the nerve to make a change. 

Pave Your Own Path — Even When It Doesn’t Look Like Everyone Else’s

As I thought about the women in my life, I realized that one of the bravest women I know is my mom’s mother, my “Nonie.”  She lived in a different generation, and her chosen career field wasn’t mine. However, she taught me how to live bravely in ways that translate to many women today.

Nonie married my granddad in 1945, while he was on a three-day leave from the Navy during World War II.  She worked as a teacher to support him after they were married, while he finished his degree at Baylor.  Once he graduated, they moved to Houston, where she settled in as a stay-at-home mom.

If Nonie had followed what her friends were doing, her short time as a teacher would have been the end of her working career: her husband now had a good job, and she didn’t need to work.  This was the 1950s, and it was highly unusual for a married woman with three children to work outside of the home. But she had a yearning to go back to the classroom, to educate other children. So, she went back to teach shortly after her third child was born, and spent thirty  more years sharing her love of learning.

After achieving success in the classroom for many years, she earned a master’s degree in Education.  She drove several towns over to be able to attend university and fulfill this dream, because she was passionate about learning. She became the head teacher at her elementary school, mentoring many young teachers. Her level of education and career success was very unusual for the time period, and she was proud of her hard work.  

So the lesson: sometimes your dreams don’t look like your friends’ and co-workers’ dreams do.  When you know what you want to do, don’t be afraid to pursue it.  Seek out inspiration in others beyond your circle, and don’t let conventional wisdom get in your way.  Assess your circumstances on a regular basis, and make sure that the goals you are fulfilling are your own, not what you think you should be doing, or what everyone else is doing.

Give Back to Others, While Developing Yourself

When you are working hard to pursue a new path, it’s easy to focus on yourself and what you are doing to reach the next level.  Sometimes, you know what the next step is, but it is a scary one.

One solution for conquering that fear is to spend some time focusing on giving back to others.  Find a place where you can volunteer on a regular basis, preferably with a group whose efforts are meaningful to you.  My Nonie loved fashion, and she served regularly at a clothing donation center through her church. She was passionate about helping children, and directed many youth programs at her church. These efforts show that by getting outside of your comfort zone and shifting your focus to helping others, you can gain confidence and clarity, often giving you the courage to make bold choices for yourself.

Don’t Just Minimize Your Weaknesses; Find Your Strengths

Back to the wisdom learned from my grandmother: Nonie was not a domestic woman (my Granddad always said, with a smile, that a vacuum cleaner never fit very well in her hand!).  She certainly could (and did) run a smooth house, but she thought it was much more interesting to spend her free time playing bridge, volunteering, or telling us all what to do. Nonie was charming and influential, and her talents were best used in front of a classroom of children, or organizing a group of adults together for a cause.

What are your strengths, and how can you develop them?  If you need clarification on this, read Tom Rath’s StrengthsFinder 2.0, and take the online assessment using the tools provided in the book. Many times we focus on our shortcomings and how we can “fix” them, but it is often more effective to pursue opportunities where our strengths can shine.

Perhaps you are in a job that isn’t where you want to be.  Are there ways you can pursue your passions, while you develop your skills?  If you love crafting, but can’t pursue it as a career at this time, could you start an Etsy shop?  If you are a top-notch party planner, could you launch a business helping your friends with their events?  Look in unusual places for opportunities to increase your contacts and develop your skills, because you never know what a side job could turn in to. 

Be Yourself

Nonie had vivid blue eyes, a wide smile, and a big laugh.  When meeting her in a public place, I would listen for her  — instead of looking for her — because I knew I’d hear her before I saw her.   She had a large collection of brightly-colored clothes and big earrings, with a voice and a personality to match.

If someone were to describe you, would you be surprised by their answer? When you are working, do you feel comfortable being yourself your environment? Children’s author Mo Willems wrote, “If ever you find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”  Take the time to assess your work environment, and those with whom you surround yourself.  Are you in a place where you are empowered to make bold choices — or is it time to make a change?

As you consider these four ways to live fearlessly, take a look at the women who have inspired your life. Seek out those great influencers, and where possible, spend time with them discussing their paths – both their accomplishments and regrets.  Don’t underestimate the importance of a mentor, and be intentional about pursuing these kinds of relationships.  We have so much to learn from the women who have gone before us.

Lastly,  when you get to a place where you have knowledge to share, be sure that you are giving back to those who look up to you.  Show your daughters, nieces, and co-workers how you have lived bravely. Don’t let fear keep you from leaving a beautiful legacy for those who are important to you.