Four Mother-Tested Ways to Overcome the Mental Hurdles of Re-entering the Working World  

You gave your supervisor the exact date you would return to work. You told yourself (and your new baby) the same. You visited your office with your beautiful new baby and everyone cooed and awed. And now the day has come – it’s your first day back to work after maternity leave.

Even with all of your preparation, you do not feel quite like your pre-baby, rock-star self. But you can’t just leave work in the middle of the day to rush back to your baby. So what can you do? Here are four mother-tested, mother-approved solutions to get over the mental hurdle of returning to work after maternity leave.

Avoid the Monday Blues
Mondays are hard for any working individual. Commutes are longer than usual, meetings are crammed into every minute of the day, your outfit is not coming together the way you planned. Returning to work on a Monday after maternity leave is even harder. Mundane Monday routines will only remind you that there are still four long days left in the week before Saturday, when you can hold and coddle your baby without interruption for as long as you both like. And working a full week when you first return can be exhausting. You could drink gallons of coffee to keep your energy up, or you can try this solution: Return to work midweek. If there is a meeting that you must attend earlier in that same week, attend by phone. Consider returning on a Wednesday if you work part time or on a Thursday if you work full time. Doing so allows you to wade back into the work pool rather than diving in.

Embrace the Mental Cobwebs
Your brain has been focused exclusively on motherhood for the last several weeks (months, if you’re lucky). Rightfully so. You just brought a new life into the world. However, your colleagues, even if they are mothers themselves, do not care about that. They care about you being back to work. They need you and have missed you (or at least your contributions). They will want to talk to you about projects or client matters and expect you to be up to speed. You may find yourself in a situation when you hear your colleagues or clients speaking, but their words are not registering with you.

That’s why it is important to review ahead. Take a quiet moment to read and take notes from relevant documents, memos (even ones you previously wrote), or internal files on the status and critical victories or progress of a project or client issue. Conduct your review as though it is your first day on the job because, in a sense, it is. If, after your review, you still forget miniscule details, blame it on baby brain (which is a real thing), and move on. The most important things you can do to erase mental cobwebs are to recognize them, obliterate any negative feelings resulting from them, and relish in the positive emotions that your career brings you.

Do Not Overdose on Extracurricular Activities
Treat your weekends as your recovery time. It’s easier to do this if you have just one child. If this is your second or third baby, weekends can be filled with activities for the older siblings. You could easily find yourself trying to keep up with the laundry and other household chores while taking your children to swim, softball, birthday parties, and recitals from Saturday sunrise to Sunday sunset, then crashing alongside them Sunday night, hoping that you remembered to set the alarm for Monday morning.

To keep your weekends from becoming overwhelming, allow activities on one weekend day only. It is okay to tell your older child that she can attend only one birthday party this weekend and let her choose which one. To make up for the other parties she can’t attend, offer to have a family movie night. They are usually a treat for the kids and may be a time for you to catch a nap!

It is also okay to ask your spouse, in-law, sister, or anyone else you trust to take your older child to her game, recital, or friend’s birthday party. The experience will create lasting memories for both of them. When they return, you can give them your undivided attention when they tell you all about their time together. If you have a tween and live in a metropolitan area, consider even letting a car service like Uber or Lyft do the driving.

While your older child is away, do not clean or run errands. That defeats the purpose. You should use this time to sleep and care for your new baby. Rather than shop, look to an online service for groceries and household purchases, like Diapers.com or Peapod.com. Many services will offer free, next-day shipping or valet pick-up service at a nominal charge. The goal is to outsource as many errands as you can afford to – at least for the first three to six months you are back to work.

Trust That it Will Get Better
Lest there be any doubt, you will miss your baby. Terribly. You will feel guilty for leaving him or her when you head back to work. But it will get better. The cobwebs will fade. You will fall into an at-home routine that works for both you and your baby. And, most importantly, you will grow into your new role as a professional working mother. Before you know it, you will be back in your rock-star stride again. Only this time, you will have a little groupie waiting for you when you walk through the door at the end of the workday.