The Comfort of Saying “No” and the Importance of Taking Risks & Saying “Yes”  

While scrolling through the seemingly endless lists of lectures and panels for a professional event I recently attended (SXSW), I came across one that caught my attention, a session with Michael Nieling regarding mistakes, doubt and conflict. As the creative director and founder of Ocupop – whose vibrant website identifies itself with antic, whimsical pride as “A Small, Super-Powered Creative Agency with Zero Awards” — Nieling had an interesting take on how to approach design. It turned out that Nieling was an entertaining lecturer with a brilliant presentation. He artfully described the stages and ways in which we all tend to make – or not make — decisions. So although he may have been talking about design, I walked away feeling empowered, and able to apply a lot of his talk to personal decisions in my own life.

The Comforting Certainty of “No”

• How it applies to Design: Only offer solutions by focusing on the “what” and the “why.” Honing in on the design opens up opportunities, and restrictions can arise when only the “how” is focused on.
• How it applies to Me: There are mainly two reasons why I say no to a task: because I don’t have the time or because I’m scared – and it’s usually the latter. Yet for some reason I still don’t like telling someone that I won’t create a design for them, and I even sometimes continue to ponder if it was actually something I could do. But no is no, and I need to stand by my decision without second-guessing. 

The Uplift of “Yes!”

• How it applies to Design: While “no” is great when you need to close the door on something, the flip side is that nothing comes from no, and sometimes an opportunity (where you can say “yes!”) gives you a chance to shine.
• How it applies to Me: As much as I try not to say no to a lot of things, there are very few things that I get really excited about, and even fewer that require me to take such a giant leap of faith. So when these do come around, I need to say yes, taking that first step, not looking back, and devoting myself to the opportunities ahead!

The Camaraderie of Uttering the Word “Right?” in a Conference Room

• How it applies to both Design & to Me: No one knows what they are doing.

Sometimes as I look around a meeting room, full of faces that seem so much older and wiser than me, I wonder how I ever got to that meeting. The fact that each person holds a position where their voices are heard, and I hold a position where I am respected among those voices, to this day still astonishes me. It took some time, but I now realize that each of us has grown and learned to make decisions based on our knowledge, and the current situation at that specific point in time. All I can really do is work hard and try my best.

Life is too short and there is no time for second-guessing or worrying about decisions that are made. Earlier this year, Strayer University put a blackboard on the streets of New York City with the poignant words “Write your biggest regret.” Many of the passers-by added their own words of misgiving, nostalgia, and sorrow, until the blackboard was filled with phrases. The upshot? Lots of phrases contained the word “‘not,” about chances not taken, and things not said. Then, at the end of the day, just before darkness encompassed the streets, a few volunteers were given an eraser to remove each phrase, line and word of regret. Of course, in life, it’s not that easy.

There is still so much I want to accomplish, and I don’t want to regret a single thing. Interestingly, each of the sessions I attended at SXSW talked about taking risks, stepping out of a comfort zone, and making that first move.  I know that in my own life, like most people on the planet, I have lamented many things — but now I am encouraged and ready to not let fear restrain me from opportunities, and to embrace a chance to start anew. So it’s important, if you hear that sort of message, to absorb it, take it home, and remember not to set yourself up for regret. Don’t look back. Be ready to make giant leaps. Be prepared to take a chance.

Written by: Shalia Aina, Graphic Designer (@hmiss_shalia)