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Impactful Mentees
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Advice for First-Time Managers
Overcoming the 18-month Itch
Dressing for Your Style
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Women's Stocking Stuffers
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The Dual California Life
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Oprah, Amy or Amal?
Preparation, Communication, and Killer Heels are Keys for Career Success
Demonstrating confidence–belief in yourself, in your work and in your message–is, of course, the name of the game if you want to succeed in your career, whatever it may be. However, telling someone to “have confidence” is like white noise, a cliche, conjuring images of Julie Andrews in “Sound of Music” walking firmly down the road with her little suitcase. People can see right through a phony, “projected” confidence. Society labels people, especially women, who merely “act” confidently, as pushy or arrogant. For me, and most women, confidence works when it is something that quietly radiates from inside.
So how do you achieve true confidence? It starts with preparation. It seems that the more success we achieve, the more skilled we become at our jobs, that we start to skip over preparation. We think we are so good that we can probably wing it. Nothing undermines your confidence more than standing up to make that argument or give that presentation and feeling that fluttery panic as you start to speak because you didn’t prepare well enough. Never cut corners when it comes to preparation. Rehearse your speech. Know your facts inside and out.
The second key to having confidence is focusing on communication. You are not there to give a speech, to sound good or look good, you are there to look people in the eye and make sure they understand what you’re saying. Think about your audience, about what you want to tell them. Focus on the facts and the message, and making both clear. You’d be surprised how quickly nerves disappear when you think about your colleagues instead of yourself. You know something, and you want to tell it to them. Part of successfully focusing on communication is listening. A male friend once told me that he could succeed with any girl; all he had to do was listen to her. This seemed cynical at the time, but you could look at it a different way. People want to be heard. They want you to check in with them and see what they think. I like to work some questions to the group into my arguments. Not condescending questions, real questions to find out how people feel about a certain subject. In court, the jury can’t answer directly, but I ask the questions anyway, and look at them. I can see they’re thinking, and they feel respected for being asked.
Finally, choosing the right clothes to wear helps establish an inner feeling of confidence. I literally have go-to outfits. It’s always a mistake to wear something new to a big presentation or a closing argument. Wear that dress or skirt that you don’t even have to question; you know you look good in it. Invest in a few high-end pieces that always look crisp and professional. And of course, be comfortable. I made the mistake of wearing a dress I had to tug at to pull down. Fussing with your clothing never looks confident. For women, heels complete the look. You don’t have to wear the sky-high ones that I wear; even a low heel makes a woman feel formidable. Flats in a presentation just don’t work. Take some time to shop for comfortable heels that look good. You can often find good choices in unexpected places, like those boutiques that specialize in comfortable walking shoes. They often have heels as well. And ladies, break out the nice lingerie too. True, they can’t see it, but you know you look like a million bucks, even underneath that skirt.
Preparation, Communication, and Killer Heels. The Jamie Sawyer battle plan for winning the confidence game.
Photos: ©2013 CBS Broadcasting Inc; Writer: Dana Stevens, Reckless Creator
