10 Tips to Help You Survive, and Actually Enjoy, Celebrating the Season at Work  

’Tis the season to spend some time with family, friends, and co-workers. It’s that time of year to be thankful for all the good things in your life, to reflect on the year past, and to dream of what will be in the coming new year.

But it’s also the time to keep your guard up–even more so around co-workers. People tend to be more relaxed during the holidays. Perhaps they have an ale or two too many, increasing the likelihood of putting the proverbial Santa boot in their mouths. A casual hand gesture, a slip of the tongue, a political statement, or even the uninvited sharing of gossip can all create unintended long-term consequences. Sure, you want to let loose and have fun, but where, exactly, is the line between enjoying yourself and implicating yourself? Here are some tips to live by, or party by, at the very least:

• Know your limits when it comes to alcohol. It’s nice to join others in a cup of eggnog or a glass of wine, but be aware of your consumption limit. Is it two glasses with a meal, one and done, or none at all? Error on the side of caution and fill the drink voids with a punch or Shirley Temple. Most of the time, habit and awkwardness tempt us into having “one more.” Keep in mind that drinking responsibly doesn’t negate the necessity to drive carefully on the way home, especially if you drive a company vehicle. Having to report a fender bender will, at best, cast a shadow on you, personally and professionally.

• Discuss only safe topics. The office party is the time to talk about topics other than P&Ls and inventory levels. But it is not the time to share voting preferences and religious beliefs. We all know this, but it is surprisingly easy to initiate these conversations, especially if you believe your audience to be of like mind. Equally important is how you respond to others should they start the discussion. The best way to manage those moments is to try and change the topic or excuse yourself with a gentle exit. What is not said will not hurt you. So what topics are safe? Family, sharing pictures, or discussing holiday gifts, upcoming vacations, pop culture/movies and the like. Food can lead to fun conversations, as well. Your goal is to connect with co-workers beyond the work world, sharing personal, but safe, disclosures.

• Dance in groups. If you are a Seinfeld fan, you will recall the famous episode in which Elaine let loose on the dance floor at her office holiday party and it became water cooler conversation on the following Monday—and not in a good way. Dance? Sure, but with others, and lay low. The office party is not the time to show off your rap or break-dancing moves, nor is it the time to slink into Dirty Dancing mode. Dance with your boss, but be careful of anything that can be construed as more than engaging in fun, such as slow dancing, holding hands, or body contact.

• Help a friend/make a new one. If you see that co-workers are about to make career-impacting mistakes, step in and divert their attention. Suggest that they try one of the food items, get them some water, step in on the dance floor, or help them get out of an awkward conversation. They will thank you later and you will gain their respect, as well as the respect of others.

• Leave the toast to the boss. And if you are the boss or on the leadership team, keep the toast light-hearted and grateful. This is not the time to boast about how your executive skills have contributed to the success of the company, or to preach about the key goals for the upcoming year; rather, take the time to appreciate your collective team, call out exceptional contributions, and humble yourself. Most of all, keep it short.

• Know when to leave. We all know the group that thinks of the office party as an after-hours bar, enjoying one more free drink, closing down the dance floor, and rallying the pack to hit the place next door. Don’t be part of that group. Nothing good happens after the party. Leaving after your boss leaves is a good rule of thumb. If he or she is a party animal, leaving after coffee is served is always acceptable. Recognize that your company does not owe you a party; it is a nice gesture and you should be grateful. Make sure you thank the team that coordinated the event and give your best to your managers. Sending a thank you email or card after the event is always appreciated, as well.

• Don’t gossip after the party. Resist the urge to talk about who got drunk, who dressed inappropriately, and who left together. Engaging in this type of chatter always goes full circle, and when it does, you don’t want to be a part of it. Also, don’t share or comment on the inevitable smartphone photos that capture “so and so” doing something inappropriate. The photo will be shame enough for him or her.

• Keep the work party professional. Even if your co-workers are your friends, learn to separate environments. Keep work events (even if your friends are there) as work events, and plan separate outings to celebrate together as friends.

• When purchasing gifts, it’s all or nothing. I came from the school of thought that recommends you give gifts to your immediate boss, close work colleagues, and any direct reports; but it’s all or nothing, so if you choose to buy presents, don’t leave anyone off your list. While grab bags are always fun and eliminate the need to find the perfect present, try to do a little more to show your boss and your team that you appreciate their support and partnership. A nice bottle of wine or a box of chocolates are always appropriate, but if you know a little about the individuals, personalized presents, like a book on a passion or hobby, will be more meaningful. Resist the joke gift—it may be offensive to some people, perhaps even someone who is not the recipient. Also, don’t purchase an expensive gift to prove your fondness for your boss; $15-$50 is a good standard, depending on your relationship.

• Attend the office party, even if you don’t want to. Some people feel awkward at these events or are simply less social, but staying home can be taken the wrong way. If you must, let the HR/planning team and your boss know that you can come only for a while because you have a conflict that evening. Making an appearance will confirm that you are part of the team. If you really can’t attend, RSVP immediately and send a personal note or call your manager/HR to tell them how disappointed you are that you are unable to go. Don’t elaborate beyond that; too much information is a red flag for an excuse.

This may all seem like a lot to manage, and it is. The holiday season is a time for fun, work, entertainment, and socializing. But it is also a time to apply basic professional skills and common sense. Bonding with co-workers will strengthen your camaraderie and make work more productive and enjoyable. Following these simple guidelines will help you coast through the season and reap a little more cheer along the way!