Practical Tools to Help Snatch Victory from the Jaws of Defeat

Often in business, we walk into a situation where the deck is stacked against us.  The client we are presenting to, the person interviewing us, even our co-workers can present a negative vibe that means we are facing an uphill battle to success.  Women can definitely relate to this feeling, as just being a woman in a largely male environment can seem like a strike against us.  The major case that has been taking a significant amount of my time, Lee Anne Marcus vs. the City of Charleston, is just such a battle.  We have faced many setbacks; lack of cooperation from the police, the attack on Lee Anne’s home, the disappearance of her husband, and most profoundly, the leaking to the press of the sex tape that features Lee Anne with other police officers. How could we get a fair jury when the news and social media played the tape repeatedly? When you are back on your heels, facing a hostile crowd, what do you do?  Lee Anne and I had two choices: fight or quit. I think you know what I’m going to say about the latter. Quitting should never, and I mean never, be an option in an uphill battle.  Nothing good for your career will ever come from quitting, even one time.  If you quit, you will certainly not get the job, or the client, or win the case. One must soldier on to the end, regardless of negativity or hostility.  This commitment to yourself and your work begins the long road toward snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat.

But what are some practical tools you can use to disarm a wary, even hostile audience?  The first one is humor. Don’t take yourself or the presentation too seriously. A well-timed bit of humor will surprise the audience that is inclined to dismiss you. Humor is the secret weapon, the golden ticket to success in almost every human interaction. Take some time to think about just the right, subtle moment to give your hostile audience a smile, a chance to laugh and loosen up.  It’s a small thing, an unexpected comment. As long as you don’t try too hard, and slip it in there with self-deprecation and a sly smile, it will work. If you don’t think you are funny, find a colleague who is and see if you can get some good ideas from them. You will be amazed to see how a small bit of humor will change their body language…arms are uncrossed; faces are more open to you.

Second, acknowledge their reticence.  Let them know that YOU know they have doubts.  Don’t argue against yourself, but do throw in a simple sentence that signals to them that you are smart and self-aware.  Many people say that you should just plow through cheerfully and ignore the negative. In my opinion, this doesn’t work. It makes you look like an amateur. Once you have acknowledged their reticence, you can begin to build your argument. “I know you have these opinions, but let me show you why you should consider changing them.” And when you make your case, surprise them. When preparing your case or presentation, write it up, think it over, and then write another argument, with a different tack. Try as many tacks as you can in your prep, then, choose the one they aren’t expecting. They will listen.

Finally, understand that it’s not just about when you are speaking.  In my business, from the moment I walk into the courtroom, the jury observes and judges me.  So, I take time to have a friendly conversation with the bailiff, who normally goes unnoticed and un-praised. When I see Lee Anne, I shake her hand and treat her with respect, conferring with her as a colleague.  I do not pat her knee, hand her a Kleenex or treat her like a victim. In terms of dress, for Lee Anne we chose simple, tailored navy shifts and pantsuits to remind the jury that she was a police officer.  I also toned down my own wardrobe.  Sometimes I want the jury to notice me, to see me as a glamorous warrior for the downtrodden, but in this case, I wanted them to see Lee Anne and I as regular people, regular women, just like them, or their wives or daughters.

Will we win the case? I don’t know. But for me, as long as I can say I truly did my best, and tried every angle I could try, I can stand proudly as the jury delivers their verdict, with no regrets. That feeling in itself is an everyday victory.

Photos: ©2013 CBS Broadcasting Inc; Writer: Dana Stevens, Reckless Creator