4 Everyday Ways to Increase Your Sense of Self-Worth  

For many of us, it can be hard to appreciate the value we bring to friendships, relationships and workplaces if we think we aren’t the best at everything. This worrisome feeling that we “lack” some vital ingredient can take the simple form of thinking that we aren’t what she is or he is, or don’t have what they have. Feelings of inadequacies crop up, which if not examined and vanquished, can lead to other, deeper feelings of unworthiness.

The problem is that too often, women succumb to fears, misconceptions and others’ categorizations of them  – forgetting that they already have their own places in the scheme of things, and that they do bring value to life situations, regardless of any insecurities.

There are also some mindsets and resources that can help all of us celebrate our strengths:

“Know your Currency.”
This isn’t some old-fashioned dowry kind of notion!  Instead, “knowing one’s currency” is a concept that Amy Poehler talks about in her book, Yes Please. In full, the quote is: “Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.” She of course is referring to your inherent, unique value – the “thing” that makes you, you! In order to know your currency and to feel happier (and yes, supposedly even sexier), you must understand and accept all the currencies that you don’t possess. And be okay with not possessing them.

Become Happier. 
What’s another good way to flex our strengths while coming to terms with our limitations? Work on being happier. Notice that “being happy” isn’t the goal – that’s because it’s unsustainable, says Washington University in St. Louis professor Timothy Bono. He’s assistant Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences there, and a lecturer on psychological and brain sciences. At a recent work conference, I attended a session that featured Bono’s research on positive psychology. He outlined several ways one could achieve a happier life — but it didn’t include a magical mantra like, “Avoid unhappiness” or “Prevent failure at all costs.” Instead, as he noted, happiness is on a continuum. If we apply his methodology when trying to appreciate our strengths, rather than bemoaning what we don’t have or what we aren’t, being happier results when, as Bono says, we look for the things in our lives that we can actually control to make us happier. So, then, focusing on things at which we excel or the accomplishments of which we are most proud is definitely within our control! We just have to keep doing those things consistently, noticing them, and giving ourselves kudos for them.

Keep your Day Job, and Get a “Side Hustle.”
Sometimes, jobs don’t always allow you to pursue all of your passions during your daily duties, with the result that you may be stuck feeling uninspired. Or maybe you’re looking for another avenue to showcase your skills that will extend above and beyond a traditional workday. Try a “side hustle.” A Quartz article talks about this kind of freelance work which, the author says, is common among millennials. And as is the case with most passion projects, it isn’t just about getting some extra cash. The author says: “The side hustle offers something worth much more than money: a hedge against feeling stuck and dull and cheated by life. This psychological benefit is the real reason for the millennial obsession, I’d argue, and why you might want to consider finding your own side hustle, no matter how old you are.” Use those strengths and those skills that make you happy! Find a way to put them on display. You will feel more fulfilled if you do.

“You” are the Important Ingredient.
There is something to be said for offering your unique perspective, even if a topic or skill has been covered – or, even, if you feel someone has done it better. As Marie Forleo, entrepreneur, writer, philanthropist and “unshakable optimist” says, everyone feels at times unoriginal or as if “it’s all been done before.” But she offers some wonderful insight on the importance of being you, no matter what. As she says, “It doesn’t have to be brand new, it just has to come from you.” How true is that? She essentially says that the way you present something or how you phrase something may be just the thing that makes all the difference or changes someone’s mood, mind or life. Bottom line: go for it. Add in your own spice.

Valuing our strengths, especially in this very competitive world full of really talented people, is no easy feat. And it can be even harder to accept our limitations – whatever they may be – in work and in our personal lives. But it’s worth a try. We have a lot to be proud of, and should let the world know that.