3 Ways Women Can Re-Examine Their Beliefs and Speak Up More to Engage in Social Change   

“Play by new rules” is a phrase that may resonate with many who look back on history. In doing that, one sees how common, everyday individuals managed to change the course of the world. It takes one person to start a spark, to cause change, and to create a movement.

So, for businesswomen, it’s time to play by new rules. New rules require a new way of thinking, a new way of being, and a new way of acting. It’s time to question beliefs that no longer serve one’s purpose, the disempowering ones that keep women ashamed, fearful, and docile. It’s time to speak up about what’s important about one’s desire and about one’s needs. In short, it’s time to be authentically visible, to be proud of the skin one embodies, and to undoubtedly own it. It’s time to claim space.

Challenging Beliefs
Beliefs are rules that drive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It’s time to challenge beliefs that lessen life’s experiences. There once was a time when people believed the world was flat, and someone challenged that belief, and that set a course for new beliefs to emerge. So a question that can help lead to the path of challenging a belief is, “Is there any evidence that doesn’t support this belief any longer?” As one grows wiser, one can outgrow beliefs that were driven by parents, grandparents, teachers, a community, and/or society. Life can take on a richer meaning when the beliefs/rules one lives by allows for more fun, love, courage, boldness, authenticity. Take the time to re-evaluate anything that is no longer useful, joyous or worthy of precious energy. Start today, create new, empowering beliefs, and begin to move with a clearer more self-driven purpose.

How does one begin?

• • • First, you must associate massive pain to the old belief, and tremendous pleasure to the new empowering belief, since one is driven by one’s need to avoid pain or one’s desire to gain pleasure.
    • Ask questions, but also examine how you question, so to speak. In other words, anytime you question anything enough, eventually you begin to doubt it, so ask yourself, is thinking this way helping the situation or making it worse? Am I over-generalizing from a past occurrence? Is this belief discouraging and stripping me of my personal power? 

Speaking Up
The time to speak up is now. Each woman brings with her a set of experiences that will help them lead, innovate, and inspire a new generation of women. The more you speak up, the more confident you become. It’s not about being rude, or callous, but about speaking up on one’s behalf, in order to be one’s own advocate. What Audre Lorde, the activist, once said rings loud and true: “I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal, and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.” So women, find your voice. There are programs out there that can help: for instance, Toastmasters International is an established organization that can help you become more at ease with public speaking. The point is, join a group that will give that voice practice; it’s a muscle that needs exercise. Start by contributing your voice and being part of the conversation. Meetings are thus the best opportunity to speak up, to be heard, so take advantage of them (the average employee spends over one-third of their workweek in meetings). Try these pointers:

• • • Speak up to probe deeper about what others are saying to become comfortable during meetings.
    • Don’t let perfectionism get in the way of self-expression, since the pressure to say “what is right” can stop one from saying anything at all.
    • Instead, speak when you want to speak, without hesitation.
    • Share contrary thoughts; they’re worth sharing, too. One’s own experiences and opinions are valid and worthwhile, and they might just be what others are thinking and needed to hear.

It’s important to remind oneself that as an influential player in one’s organization one needs to be heard — so the time to speak up is now!

Visibility 
One fundamental feminine character for women is to be seen. (Why else do women care so much about how they are put together?!) Women want to be seen, heard, admired, and respected. But to be seen authentically can in fact a vulnerable experience. When women hold their authenticity back, they block their own radiance. Noted speaker Brené Brown has said it best: “If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.” To be visible is to be a leader. One cannot hide if one wants to make change, it comes with the territory.  It’s time to allow oneself to be seen as an incredible human being, flawed, scarred…and therefore beautifully human. To start, one must increase one’s visibility by presenting oneself in a way that compels others to take notice. This means making one’s level of competence visible, to step up and courageously market oneself. To ensure people are aware of what one is contributing, one cannot afford to be out-of-sight or out-of-mind in the workplace. Here are a few helpful strategies:

• • • Write out specific points you would like to point out before meetings, interactions, and/or events. This will help with formulating thoughts, and speaking points.
    • Volunteer for company committees and/or groups. Being in a non-work-related setting can provide a more relaxing environment where one can showcase versatile talents and expertise, self-expression, and become acquainted and interact with other colleagues.
    • Lastly, balance self-promotion with the promotion of others. Promoting others is also self-promotion: when one gives credit where credit is due, one is creating a culture in which people openly and enthusiastically discuss their accomplishments and results.
    • That said, make sure people are aware of your efforts and all that had to be done to accomplish projects/tasks, or they won’t appreciate what was done to arrive at the end result!

Much research has proven that men receive more promotions than women. So, showcase your talents, skills, results, value and overall impact. When you can back it up, it’s not bragging, but fact. It’s time to claim a central and purposeful place in one’s own story. It’s time to question what’s been taught, to speak up, and to risk being seen. In order to change the rules, we have to change the rules we live by in our daily lives. And always, throughout history, women who simply had enough, who challenged beliefs, who spoke up and risked being seen have made this world a better place.

There is still much work to do, and we need all females to step up to the challenge of making this world a better place. It starts in one’s part of the world. It’s time to work on developing new ways of thinking, being, and acting in the world. It’s time to make and live by new rules.