4 Easy, Inexpensive Ways to Feel Poised & Self-Assured  

Who couldn’t use a confidence boost?  Women in particular suffer from low levels of self-confidence. Even some of the most successful women report having feelings of self-doubt more often than they’d like.  So you’re not alone.  But there are a bunch of things you can do about it  that don’t involve advanced degrees or boatloads of psychoanalysis.

These four confidence boosters require only some self-reflection and intentionality to boost your self-confidence, starting today!

Be REALLY Honest with Yourself
The reality is, we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses.   If you’re reading this article, chances are you dwell on your weaknesses more than your strengths.  You may not have even given yourself a chance to think about your strengths.

But just dwelling on your weaknesses won’t do you any good.  Instead, use your honest appraisal of your weaknesses to your advantage.  For example, maybe you don’t do so well with details – they bore you or you gloss over them when you have a lot to juggle.  Instead of just accepting it as a fact you can’t change, commit to addressing it, as follows:

• • • Put a Post-it on your desk reminding you to give your work another read
    • Identify a colleague who will proofread important documents for you (and offer her a different source of support in return)
    • Create a simple process that you apply to everything, like draft, review, print, review again.

By acknowledging that this weakness exists, and committing to addressing it, you’ll start to minimize the likelihood that you’ll get a document handed back to you covered in red ink.  Red ink often sends confidence levels straight down the basement floor.  Instead, give yourself the chance to get comments focused on the substance and not the typos.  You’ll be happier, and so will your supervisors!

But, while being honest, don’t leave out those strengths!  Make a list of the things you are proud of.  Maybe you’re great at building relationships; maybe you rock at public speaking; maybe you excel at seeing the big picture.  Don’t ignore those awesome attributes – celebrate them.  Keep your list handy, and look at it early and often.

Mentor to the Max!
Everyone could use a witness and a sounding-board.  Identify a mentor with whom you have a very trusted relationship — someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing both high and low moments.  (If you don’t have a mentor that you feel super-comfortable with, grab a close friend or family member whom you know to be brutally honest and fabulously supportive.)   

Once you’ve picked your person, go ahead and give her a call and tell her that you are focused on a “personal development” endeavor to boost your confidence.  Ask if she’d be willing to connect with you periodically to talk through things that are going well — and things that aren’t.  Use the periodic calls (monthly?) as an opportunity to keep your goals at the forefront, knowing that your next call is never too far away.  Setting your intentions and coupling them with accountability will motivate and support you.

Grab a “Confidence Jar”
Developing a habit of noticing your actions can help you remember to acknowledge your successes.  Small victories can lead to huge ones.  Here’s how it works: 

• • • Start by picking something that’s on your weakness list.
    • Then grab a jar, and a pack of paper clips, or marbles, or those stray buttons you seem to have collected.
    • Label the jar based on the weakness you chose.  For example:  “Lauren’s Details Jar.”
    • Then every time you do something in service of strengthening that weakness, toss a paperclip in the jar.  Focus on small wins.  Did you give your memo a second read?  Paperclip!  Did you ask Joe to give it a skim?  Paperclip!  Did you catch a couple of typos even if a few still remained?  Paperclip!  (Next time you’ll catch more.)
    • Then watch the jar fill up.  Your confidence will fill up with it.  Who knew your pantry could be the hidden key to unlocking your self-confidence!

Dress it Up!  
Countless studies show that what you wear affects how you feel.  And these studies show that people feel more confident when they are wearing clothes they love.   

So take a stroll through your closet.  Identify items that you love, the ones that give you that extra satisfaction when wearing them.  Maybe they make you feel extra spunky or funky.  Maybe you feel more powerful in those red heels.  Maybe you feel more  svelte in that A-line dress.  Maybe you always get great compliments on that necklace.

Whatever your items are, figure out a way to access them quickly and commit to including them in your outfit du jour. Dressing it up creates a win-win; you’ll love getting compliments on your sassy items, and you’ll enjoy the extra mental space since you won’t be worrying about whether or not that old sweater is too ragged for prime time.  

Don’t accept a lack of self-confidence as status quo.  Invest the time and effort in yourself to make a difference in how you feel.  You’ll be thrilled that you did!