Keys to Changing Your Career Narrative by Marrying Your Past with Your Present

I’m not talking about your career story that you can market to get a job. I’m talking about the story you have created to give meaning and explanation to your personal, inner life. We all have one.

Whether or not we’re conscious of them, our stories are there, influencing our language and presence and emotions. They inform how we show up in the world.

We’ve all seen the power of stories to bestow meaning on experience. Interestingly, how you make sense of your own life affects not just yourself, but who you are to other people. For example, you’ve probably known someone who’s experienced hardship and has let hardships define her: she’s made hardship her past, present and future. She continues to experience hardship because that’s her perception of what’s possible. And you’ve probably also known someone who’s experienced just as much hardship, but has reshaped adversity into possibility. The difference between these two types of people, and how they interact with the world, is vast.

It’s a powerful thing to become conscious of the story you tell yourself — and then start to rewrite it when needed. Maybe you’ve reached a point where your current story no longer works for you. You’re feeling stuck, or you achieved your latest goal and you’re looking for something new. And you have to figure out “a new act” to introduce…or sometimes even a new plot. This exercise can help you discover and re-shape your story.

Let’s Go Back in Time

We’re going to create a timeline of your life. Write out the key facts, events and experiences in your life. I’m talking ALL of it — the good, the bad and the ugly. The successes — and the failures that made those successes more meaningful.  The disappointments. The accomplishments. The people who have made the biggest difference for you — and the people who taught you how NOT to be.

Let me stress this again: write the bad stuff down, too. Ignore that mean voice in your head telling you to be embarrassed or ashamed. It’s tempting to leave out the failures of the past when you’re redefining your story, but you’ll be missing some powerful insights if you do. Where did you experience adversity? What tools did you use to get to the other side?  Where did you have to forgive yourself for a big mistake?  What did you learn from the hard stuff?

When you finish, step away for a bit. When you return to your timeline, ask yourself these questions:

• • • What surprised you?
    • What still makes you swell with pride? (Your first campaign that got noticed? Graduating college, which no one else in your family had done before?)
    • What still fills you with regret or heartache? (A lost job? A relationship that ended?)
    • What patterns do you notice?
    • What are the most important things you’ve learned?
    • What assets have you used? Look at both hard skills (you’re an ace at programming or project management) and soft skills (you’re an empathetic communicator or savvy strategist). And don’t forget the extra talents (you speak four languages, or brew your own beer) that are your “secret sauce.”
    • Were there times that stand out because you were living in alignment, or out of alignment, with your values? Are you out of line with your values now? If you’re feeling “off” or unsettled, that might be what’s going on.
    • When did you have a lot of energy for, and interest in, what you were doing? When were you bored and apathetic? These can be important clues about what you want to move toward, in your next act.

OK, Here’s the Big One

There’s one more thing I want you to consider as you look at your timeline.  Are you out of alignment with your big truth? I’ll give you an example from my own life to show you what I mean.

I was determined that becoming a mom would not change the way that I worked. But when I became exhausted and uninspired, I realized I couldn’t do the things that I had always done as a business owner and still be present for both my clients and my young son the way I wanted to be.  That was my truth that I realized, so I re-wrote my story around it, to change and improve my circumstances.

Your big truth, hovering just under the surface, might be that while you’ve thought each new promotion would make you happy, you don’t actually want to be in your current field. Or that you are starting to understand that you’ve always taken on whatever has been asked of you, and in the process lost touch with what you really want to create.

In short, your truth may have been drowned out by the demands of daily life, but it’s there, and discovering  it will re-shape your story.

Ready to Rewrite?

From your timeline mentioned above, you should now have a stronger sense of who you are, what you truly value and where you want to go.

But none of that means much if you don’t start moving toward it. It’s risky to be truthful about what you want, especially if it’s not popular. And it might be scary to take a step forward when you don’t know what the second step will be. You’ll feel emotionally exposed, but you’ll also find that your vulnerability connects you with others more deeply.

For some of you, the risk will be with yourself – It’s about getting quiet, perhaps, to really hear yourself differently. For others, it might be about connecting more and putting your ideas out there.

If you can give yourself the gift of being in that moment of uncertainty and risk, it’s amazing what can happen. That’s when we get creative with our own lives.

Rewriting your story isn’t for the faint of heart or those who give up quickly. It takes a willingness to change, and to see all the good along with the gaps, and take responsibility for your life and career. We are the creators of our own worlds. Possibilities are ours to experience. So remember this:

• • • You have one life in this form.
    • Know that it’s going to be messy.
    • Dig deep, live fully, and know that this type of self-inventory is a worthwhile goal to get you where you need to be.

Written by:  Jen Spencer, Founder, The Creative Executive (@TheCreativeExec)
SXSW Presentaion: Writing Your Next Act